Search Results for: putin
Khameini Frustrated: Putin Still Friendzoning Ayatollah (2/2)
Unlike Khomeini-ite Fiqh, TULIP-flavor Calvinism, and other scientific and empirically rigorous political discourses, “nice guy” and “friendzoning” are ideological aberrations that are completely detached from reality. Still, that didn’t stop Khameini giving it to us one last time: I mean,…
Khameini Frustrated: Putin Still Friendzoning Ayatollah (1/2)
Some would say that The Enemies Of Our Glorious Nation™ are quarrelsome folk. (Or if not “enemies of America,” at least the enemies of the non-satire news media and of The International Beltway Community). Still, there is such a thing…
GlossyNews Scores Exclusive Interview w/ Vlad the Impaler Putin, Czar of Russia
Glossy News has been fortunate enough to be granted an interview with Vladimir Putin, the leader of Russia, a man very much in the news these days. It is not often that the Premier grants anyone from the West an…
Cattle Rancher Cliven Bundy Actually a Front For Putin’s Seizure of American Territory
The word is out on Nevada renegade cattle rancher Cliven Bundy. Recent evidence has shown that the cantankerous old cow rebel who refused to pay the government for using BLM land for grazing is actually a front man for Russian…
The Blame In Ukraine Lies Mainly in The Brain (of Putin)
Russian separatists in Ukraine, eager to show the world just how diplomatic and democratic they are in their newly taken over territory, smashed voting tables, threatened vote takers and surrounded the home of a man vocally in support of elections…
Putin Drags Russia Back To The Czarist Times
We thought the Cold War was over. Now Vladimir Putin has taken his nation back beyond that to the time of the Czars. He himself is the new Czar. No joke. The man who tried so hard to show the…
Obama Announces Sanctions on Lyudmila Putin
During a White House Rose Garden press conference Thursday, President Barack Obama, in an effort to drive Russian forces from the Crimean Peninsula, announced far reaching sanctions against Vladimar Putin’s wife, Lyudmila. “We have frozen funds in her Citicorp and…
Putin Invades Coney Island To Help Russians Living There
Russian President Vladimir Putin has sent Russian troops into Coney Island, a part of Brighton Beach, New York, that has a large immigrant Russian population. Swarming ashore from submarines that covertly approached the beach, they quickly took over all government…
Putin Sets World Record For Quickest Change Of Face In Political History
Vladimir (the Vampire ) Putin, still glowing from the success of the Winter Olympic Games in Sochi, Russia, has suddenly shown his darker side of the Force by invading and taking over the Crimea, a vital peninsula of his supposed…
Vladimir Putin Wins First Gold Medal of the Olympics
Russian President Vladimir Putin, well-known around the world for his affinity for winning at all costs, won the very first gold medal of the Winter Olympics in Sochi, for Mother Russia. Putin had originally planned to sit the Olympics out,…