Cattle Rancher Cliven Bundy Actually a Front For Putin’s Seizure of American Territory

The word is out on Nevada renegade cattle rancher Cliven Bundy. Recent evidence has shown that the cantankerous old cow rebel who refused to pay the government for using BLM land for grazing is actually a front man for Russian President Putin’s plot to covertly seize American land. In one fell swoop Bundy has gone from being the ‘patriotic’ symbol of a true American to being the worst sort of communist.

RIGHT: Bubba and Igor. (CLICK TO ENLARGE.) Image appears courtesy of Steve Ryan at

States Nevada FBI agent Gilmore Gotguns; “The disturbing info we have come up with shows that a lot of those gun toting supporters of Bundy are really Russian special forces snuck into the country to help with agitation of the sort that Bundy has created. And they ain’t NRA members.”

Locals noticed during the tense standoff with Nevada State Troopers and the ‘Rights’ protestors supporting Bundy that many of them were wearing non-cowboy Russian clothes, carrying Kalashnikovs and speaking with a funny, non-Nevada type accent.

“It looks like a lot of these Bubbas were actually Breshnevs.” commented Gotguns.

The whole affair has sparked fear into the local folk who originally supported those who stood up to the government. “We thought they were Tea Party idealists. Turns out they are really Communist Party Ivans!” said Buella Ranchhand, a local John Bircher.

Fears of a Russian takeover here were made a reality when ski masked men with fumbling English took over the County courthouse, the National Guard Armory and several of the whorehouses.

“We’s lucky they went after the bordellos.” said Sheriff Mitch Bulldog. “That kept ’em busy and the girls secretly grabbed their guns when they was climaxing.”

Now the same people who stood opposed to government intervention in the Cliven Bundy situation are begging for the state troopers and SWAT teams to come in to deal with the Russians. The gun nuts who supported the Igors who stood up to the troopers are now all cowering in their homes with the blinds drawn down.

Author: rfreed

I was born and I died. Being a disembodied entity makes it very cheap for me to get by. Not having to worry about eating or having a place to live gives me a lot of freedom to squander my time writing occasionally funny articles. See more almost funny stuff at