Trump Reassures America of His Admiration of the Armed Forces by Starting a War with Iran
WASHINGTON, DC– Today, President Trump announced that he would declare war on the Islamic Republic of Iran in an effort to prove his dedication to and reverence of the US military, following accusations that he repeatedly maligning dead soldiers. Under…
Will the result of the presidential election bring greater stability to the US?
It’s been a bit of a topsy-turvy time for US politics in recent months. Even before the coronavirus pandemic sent shockwaves around the world and created hysteria in politics, the US were dealing with the bitter impeachment charges which had…
Confession: If Trump Were Catholic
“Bless me, Father, . . . ” “Yes, my son? Remember the words? ‘For I have sinned.’” “Sorry you’ve sinned too, but, frankly, even our buddy on St. Pete’s throne needs to get great again. Infallible? C’mon! Sometimes I think he’s a…
Pleasant Quarantine Activities for When Lockdown Inevitably Pushes You to the Edge
2020’s quarantine season has revealed that there exist two types of individuals: those who have become ultra-productive, superhuman accomplishers during quarantine and human beings who don’t have access to gratuitous amounts of ketamine. While some remarkable individuals have cleaned their…
Trumpisms 11.0
376 As Trump continues to stink in the polls, of course he will try to discredit them. He doesn’t believe in the North Poll or the South Poll. Even the polls of Polland are fake news. 377 Beware of shaving…
THE GREAT EMANSTURBATOR
Donald Trump insists he has done more for African Americans than any other president. Read his tweet on the subject: “Many people don’t know this about me. Lincoln didn’t free the slaves. I DID. First thing I did behind the…
US Military Mounts Four-Pronged Offensive to Obliterate Water Wastage
WASHINTON D.C– Today, Secretary of the Department of Defense Mark Esper unveiled a strategic offensive to counteract the growing threat of excessive water usage. Sec. Esper noted that the US intelligence community have issued recent reports on the link between…
Delaware Senator Chris Coons CANCELLED over Racist Surname
SUSSEX COUNTY, DELAWARE– The junior senator from Delaware, Chris Coons, held a press conference to formally announce reconciliation with the new wave of racial justice protests surrounding his last name. Profusely apologizing to white people on social media, Sen. Coons…
PARDON ME! Trump’s Notes: Short and Long Lists (Along with Wishful List) of People to Pardon
Trying to court women, President Trump just pardoned Susan B. Anthony. He also has pardoned heavyweight boxing champion Jack Johnson. But, if you think the only women and African-Americans he cares about are long dead, he also pardoned Kim Kardashian’s…
Do you dare to spin the reels with these energetic Slots?
These days, Slot machines online are the new normal, an accepted part of our daily lives, but this wasn’t always the case. Imagine having to drag your lazy behind all the way down to your local brick-and-mortar venue to play…