Archive | World News

Irish in Feverish Leprechaun Hunt to Rescue Economy

Irish in Feverish Leprechaun Hunt to Rescue Economy

DUBLIN, Ireland – In the wake of some of the worst economic news to hit Ireland for decades, record numbers of Irish people are laying traps hoping to catch the elusive leprechauns and make them hand over the gold in their possession.

Some claim that the stores of gold held captive by the country’s leprechauns is enough to not only bring Ireland out of the financial mess but to make it the richest country in the world. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in World News14 Comments

Haiti Officially Declared ‘Kenny’ of Nations

Haiti Officially Declared ‘Kenny’ of Nations

In the aftermath of Hurricane Tomas’ further devastation to the beleaguered Caribbean hellhole, an emergency meeting of the UN has officially declared Haiti the ‘Kenny’ of the global community.

Scholars and UN watchdogs call the unanimous decree historical, unprecedented and confusing, as it’s the only time Libya and Israel have voted alike on anything, and it’s also a label few in the developing world are familiar with. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in World News0 Comments

Facebroker Replaces Facebook in Somalia

Facebroker Replaces Facebook in Somalia

MOGADISHU, Somalia – High seas pirates tired of battling high seas and all those US and French Naval ships have decided to become landlubbers again and do what their fellow continental Nigerians are doing, scamming people from solid ground.

They’ve opened a new operation entitled Facebroker whereby they steal the identities of people on Facebook and sell them to people who don’t have identities on Facebook so that they can be identified on Facebook as someone other than themselves. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Internets Tubes, World News0 Comments

WikiLeaks Revelation: Iranian President “Some Kind of F’d Up Elf”

WikiLeaks Revelation: Iranian President “Some Kind of F’d Up Elf”

Sydney, Australia (BNSE): Wikileaks, the controversial Australian based organization which recently rocked the American intelligence community with the release of thousands of classified documents linked to the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, has sent shock waves again with the release of extraordinary documents detailing the shadowy background of Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

High School Senior 2 Gay 2 B Remembered

High School Senior 2 Gay 2 B Remembered

Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez.

Sex is a private matter, except for performance artists employed in the adult entertainment sector, who are generally really nice people.

Except for Diane; she was a real bitch.

Oh, I know Hermana; I hated her too!

But sex is private matter and nobody else’s business. Stupid on the other hand, that is everybody’s business. Glossy News has learned that up in Arkassippi or somewhere, a girl is suing her hillbilly high school because her tuxedo picture didn’t make it into the yearbook. Gringos have been known to do some stupid things, but this just about whacks the piñata. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Society, World News1 Comment

Wealthiest Americans Expected to Seek Asylum with Lakota Nation

Wealthiest Americans Expected to Seek Asylum with Lakota Nation

Three years ago a delegation of four Oglala Sioux Tribe members took their Declaration of Sovereignty to Washington, D.C. declaring themselves a separate nation. While the declaration has not been formally accepted by the United States State Department, the newly formed Lakota Nation is determined to go forward with plans to have their nation recognized by the United Nations. Meetings with various heads of state from such countries as Venezuela and Bolivia have been met with respect and solidarity. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Top Stories, World News2 Comments

Jihadists Taking Pre-Marital Classes to Prep for 70-Virgin Afterlife

Jihadists Taking Pre-Marital Classes to Prep for 70-Virgin Afterlife

The newest Jihadists have been instructed in a rare, word-of-mouth Al Qaeda fatwa to begin learning the most important teaching of their future suicidehood — that of preparing themselves for their final reward, the 70 black-eyed virgins. So-called “fighters” are being told to marry the widows of those who have fallen before them. They need to prepare physically for the arduous task after their suicides, how to keep 70 virgins happy in the afterlife. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Religionism, World News0 Comments

Tibet’s Dalai Lama Takes Credit for Recent Chinese Earthquake

Tibet’s Dalai Lama Takes Credit for Recent Chinese Earthquake

Lhasa, Tibet – Glossy News – The Dalai Lama has spoken up and taken credit for the recent earthquake that hit China. Citing recent ‘bad karma’ over the suppression of Tibet’s population, the Dalai Lama said he would pray for the victims, but hates the Chinese leadership for years of brutal suppression. He took credit and responsibility for the ‘Great Jump’ that sparked the earthquake. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Pakistani Man Shuts Down Internet Due To Footwear Problems

Pakistani Man Shuts Down Internet Due To Footwear Problems

Nobi Patel was visibly discouraged as he searched shop after shop looking for a comfortable pair of shoes to wear while bicycle powering up his village’s internet section. After almost a week of no internet connections, angry neighbors were hurling insults as he passed, hoping to antagonize the simple man as his internet power generator, sat idle near the outhouse. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, World News1 Comment

Obama Gets Tough with Iran: Leaves Bitchy Note on UN Desk

Obama Gets Tough with Iran: Leaves Bitchy Note on UN Desk

Washington, DC (GlossyNews): In its toughest rhetoric yet, the Obama Administration lashed out at Iran’s ongoing nuclear enrichment program. Iran maintains the program is only intended to develop a domestic nuclear fuel source for civilian electrical power generation, an explanation critics dismiss as a thinly veiled excuse to develop nuclear weapons.

The strongly worded statement was delivered on the floor of the United Nations General Assembly in the form of a post-it note left attached to a reading lamp on the desk of the Iranian Delegation over a lunch break late last week. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Top Stories, World News1 Comment

New Leak Linked to BP

New Leak Linked to BP

ROSWELL, New Mexico (GlossyNews) — In his harshest stance yet, President Barack Obama has demanded flailing petroleum giant BP establish yet another $20B set-aside to address more leak damage. At issue is the recent Wiki-leaks release of 91,000 classified documents, considered highly toxic by most defense analysts.

Said White House spokesman Robert Gibbs, “This thing undeniably looks like BP. It’s of unprecedented proportions, politically inconvenient, and clean-up will be a nightmare. So who do you think did it? A leak of these dimensions can only mean BP has failed to follow adequate safety procedures, yet again.”

Though in a leadership transition, BP was quick to respond on this latest disaster. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Environment, World News0 Comments

France Protects Muslim Women’s Rights by Denying them Choice

France Protects Muslim Women’s Rights by Denying them Choice

The French National Assembly has voted overwhelmingly to ban burqas, with 335 in favor of the law and only one against it. This decision is in line with the international consensus that instead of what they do, what they say, or what they believe, women should be judged for how they look.

If the Senate and Constitutional Council approve the ban, it will go into effect in the fall. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Religionism, World News1 Comment

Castro Warns of Nuclear War. Blames “Damn Kids on Lawn.”

Castro Warns of Nuclear War. Blames “Damn Kids on Lawn.”

HAVANA, Cuba – (GlossyNews) Cuban leader, Fidel Castro, delighted Cuba’s Parliament with his first public appearance in over four years. A strong, healthy, and vigorous Castro amazed Cuba’s leaders and the assembled press corps alike with his deep grasp of international issues and prophetic warnings about the course of world events.

During his brief address, Castro warned that the world “was sitting on the brink of a nuclear holocaust that could engulf every nation on the planet and lead to the extinction of our species.” He then promptly placed the blame of these events on “all those damn kids who are always running around my grass. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Top Stories, World News2 Comments

Bjork, Pirates, Determined To Help Iceland Out of Economic Hardship

Bjork, Pirates, Determined To Help Iceland Out of Economic Hardship

REYKJAVIK, Iceland (GlossyNews) — Pop singer Bjork (pronounced BEE-YORKKKKK, just like you are upchucking a bad pizza), always a fountainhead of new and eccentric ideas, has decided to help alleviate Iceland’s terrible economic problems.

Iceland, long a self reliant land, made a bad mistake by investing heavily in British stocks which plummeted in value during the current recession. Iceland teeters on bankruptcy. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Travel, World News0 Comments

Britain Invades US Over 4th of July Humiliation

Britain Invades US Over 4th of July Humiliation

Great Britain has invaded the United States of America in a fit of irritation over the glee showed during Independence day festivities, and to win back the valuable territory lost in both the Revolutionary War and the War of 1812. An endless barrage of fireworks are shot off at night during this yearly event to symbolize the fight the young nation put up against a European power that they saw as being tyrannical.

“It wasn’t that bad.” states quasi Prime Minister David Cameron. “OK, we made them cough up a few extra shillings for their damned tea. So what? Now the damn bastards don’t even drink it anymore. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in World News0 Comments

Video Surfaces of Missing Glossy News Journalist

Video Surfaces of Missing Glossy News Journalist

SNOHOMISH, Washington (GlossyNewsSA) — It remains uncertain whether legendary correspondent Blake Pennywhistle is alive or dead, but recent developments at least hold reason for hope. A DVD was left taped to the coffee machine at Glossy News NYC headquarters, sometime between Thursday evening and Friday morning. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in World News0 Comments

Page 20 of 24« First...10...1819202122...Last »
Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





Glossy News Podcast


(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)


More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

DHgate.com



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial