Category: Politics
President Trump Confined to White House, Refusing to Take Revolving Door
Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.–After much legal wrangling, President-elect Donald Trump and his children, Ivanka, Eric and Donald Jr. divested themselves of their holdings in the Trump Organization and in Trump’s dozens of other companies so that they could carry out their…
Jonathan Mitchell: Reflections Before the Election
NOTE FROM WALLACE: This note was penned by Jonathan Mitchell, prominent autism advocate, before the recent US election result. I think this piece is of good historical interest, as it captures some of the uncertainty and anxiety in the air…
American Hypocrisy Fuels Interdimensional Starship
Dateline: WATERLOO–A team of scientists and engineers at the Perimeter Institute in Waterloo, Ontario has invented a technique for converting American leaders’ hypocrisy into fuel to power an interdimensional starship. Thorsten Dillydally, leader of the team of researchers, was led…
Germany Prepares to Prosecute Millions for Insulting Donald Trump in 2017
BERLIN – Germany’s law against insulting the leaders of foreign governments will be put to the ultimate test when billionaire Twitter personality Donald Trump is sworn in as President of the United States in January 2017. Insulting President-Elect Donald Trump…
Trump Shakes Things Up with Bold Cabinet Appointments
Donald Trump has wasted no time putting his signature on his new administration. In what some critics are calling a scarily bad case of Opposite Day, President-Elect Trump so far has chosen an Education Secretary who has never held any…
Who Needs Real News When Fake News Is Way More Fun (It never stopped Fox News or Donald Trump)
Fake News Fer Sale! Git Yer Fake News Right Here! Suddenly fake news stories are the In Thing and do we have ’em here for you! Get in on the latest fad and power trip going- fake news stories! Amaze…
Five Ways a Trump Presidency is Like Gilligan’s Island
Let me just say Richard Condon was wrong. The Manchurian Candidate is from Moscow and he ain’t brainwashed. Nothing about the recent election would make for a decently plausible political thriller or even proper parody. I know truth is stranger…
When Donald Met Nigel (A Comic Dialogue in Two Annoying Parts)
NOTE FROM WALLACE: Welcome Appleseed Ike, of Satirical Industrial Complex! This is Ike’s first piece for Glossy News. *** When you hear about a meeting between Donald and Nigel you’d stereotypically picture two ageing, dogmatic men. What happens is far worse…
Gone But Not Forgotten: John Kerry Meme Tribute
The High Sultan of Flip-Flop will soon shuffle mournfully off the political scene. But let’s remember some of the highlights of John Kerry’s career. Well, you know what I mean!
Bernie Sanders Forms Anti-Establishment Punk Band
After being betrayed by the ‘faux progressive’ DNC establishment, Bernie Sanders is trying to console himself by making a radical career change. He is now fronting a new Patti Smith Tribute Band. Here’s Bernie now, with his: Rock ‘n’ Roll…