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Obama Blocks Republicans’ Salaries – Saudis Step In

Obama Blocks Republicans’ Salaries – Saudis Step In

Obama has issued an executive order to block salaries to Republican Congressmen. They responded by saying “They would impeach his black ass”.

Democratic Congressmen have hailed this as the best step Obama has taken so far. This said, Republican Congressmen ended up better off than they were. Continue Reading

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Congress Gets Unusually Creative In Its Ways Of Kicking Down Obama

Congress Gets Unusually Creative In Its Ways Of Kicking Down Obama

Just when you would think that Congress (aka Republicans) could not get any more creative in their undermining of just about every move that Obama makes they come with something that leaves you aghast that they actually do possess some degree of creativity.

No longer stonewalling and counter measuring everything the non-white man President does the Congress passed a measure to sue Obama over the actions he is taking in using Presidential procedure to make decisions.

Funny, they never did this when George the Second Bush went way beyond his legislative abilities to pass laws and to gut simple human rights (aided by his caretaker Dick aka. Vader Cheney).

As I remember they who are now so indignant at Obama sat back in their high seats and snickered. In other words its OK when one of their own good old boys do it, but not when the black whippersnapper does. Am I wrong or isn’t that the basis for fascism?

In an effort to waste more time and taxpayer money the Repubs are starting a ridiculous lawsuit designed to make themselves look good and tough and Obama bad. It is all part of a continuous manipulative effort to make better their chances for election wins in the present mid-term and for the 2016 Presidential election.

It is also a ploy to further handicap a President who would have gotten a lot more good done for the country had the Right worked with him a little bit rather than working him over. What could have been a landmarking term of office with vast improvements for all sections of American society has instead sunk into a morass of hatred and back stabbing resulting in a stagnation of our whole way of life.

In a way whose only purpose is to make the big boys in the right look good to their buddies and cronies and serves no other purpose but to gum up the governmental machinery more and cost us more tax money, the suing will bring no good to anyone except for a few lawyers to get richer and for a few redneck bigots to gloat more.

As though Obama doesn’t have enough to deal with already.

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The New Smash Hit Film- ‘Dawn Of The Planet Of Illegal Immigrants’!

The New Smash Hit Film- ‘Dawn Of The Planet Of Illegal Immigrants’!

The new Sci-Fi flick ‘Dawn Of The Planet Of Illegal Immigrants’ is taking the box office by storm! The latest sequel in the series that started with ‘Planet Of The Illegal Immigrants’ then continued with ‘Beyond The Planet Of The Illegal Immigrants’, ‘Escape From Planet Of The Apes’, ‘Planet Of The Illegal Immigrants Does Dallas’ and so forth. And the series shows no signs of slowing down. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Talky Pictures1 Comment

Megyn Kelly is Still a Massive Twat, But Mitt Romney Has a Huge Wang (Censored Version)

Megyn Kelly is Still a Massive Twat, But Mitt Romney Has a Huge Wang (Censored Version)

Megyn Kelly, anchor of some white guy’s network, is still being pursued by liberals and stuff, claiming that her blatant and sour opinions that put people to shame were morally wrong and shouldn’t be on a comedy network such as FOX news. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Television3 Comments

An Open Rant To The “%&*#@&” Geniuses” Eastern Ukrainian Rebels

An Open Rant To The “%&*#@&” Geniuses” Eastern Ukrainian Rebels

You absolute stupid f*&%$#ing a*^&*%s!

You %*&^-up cowboys who think you are the coolest things on the planet when really you are a bunch of dumb s*^*s who probably still wet the bed at night.

You, in trying to prove to each other how macho you are just shot down a plane full of people who had nothing to do with your f(*&%#-up taking of land and cities that do not belong to you. And you don’t have the guts to own up to it. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics5 Comments

Why Are You Knocking On Our Door When Your Own Country Is A Mess?  or  Sorry, We Are Not A Professional Babysitting Company.

Why Are You Knocking On Our Door When Your Own Country Is A Mess? or Sorry, We Are Not A Professional Babysitting Company.

With regards to the sudden influx of children from Central America suddenly rushing our border and the questions over what the proper response should be, here is an interesting similar incident that happened a while back in Germany:

In the 1990’s there were a number of what I believe were either Somalian or Sudanese refugees (I cannot find the Internet links to the story) who had fled to Germany requesting asylum there.

There were questions as to the legitimacy of their status and as to whether they were really there to work or to get on the liberal social benefits programs that the nation offered. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, War ZoneComments Off on Why Are You Knocking On Our Door When Your Own Country Is A Mess? or Sorry, We Are Not A Professional Babysitting Company.

Border Patrol Invokes Nancy Reagan’s Anti-Drug Mantra “Just Say No” To Solve Child Immigration

Border Patrol Invokes Nancy Reagan’s Anti-Drug Mantra “Just Say No” To Solve Child Immigration

The head of the U.S. Border Patrol, James Bratcatcher, highly stressed from dealing with the sudden influx of children and young mothers with children from Latin America, has claimed that a solution to the international problem came to him in a dream.

“The spirit of Nancy Reagan came to me in my sleep and suggested to me that I ‘Just say ‘No!’ when children approach us at the border asking for asylum, the same thing she once famously said to tell drug pushers who were trying to influence young people to start using drugs. Continue Reading

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“Drones May Not Attack Banks” says new U.S. Drone Czar

“Drones May Not Attack Banks” says new U.S. Drone Czar

WASHINGTON – The newly appointed US Drone Czar announced today that attack drones operating on US soil may not attack US banks without prior approval of the Federal Reserve Bank.

“Let me be clear,” stated General Quentin Easing, the new US Homeland Drone Czar. “We are only permitted to attack US banks on US soil with attack drones if we receive prior authorization from the US Federal Reserve Bank. We can’t just attack any bank we like. It’s the law.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Technology1 Comment

Thad “Cochroach” Cochran Now Considered Lowest Form of Politician

Thad “Cochroach” Cochran Now Considered Lowest Form of Politician

Jackson, MS – It now appears that Republican Mississippi Senator Thad Cochran cheated and used the lowest of political tactics in his recent Republican primary to hang onto his political power at all costs.

Fellow republicans now refer to Thadeus as “Cochroach” Cochran after the campaign his team led against his republican challenger, which lead to a very narrow victory for the politician. Continue Reading

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Feds Open No-Kill Shelter for Immigrants on Texas/Mexico Border

Feds Open No-Kill Shelter for Immigrants on Texas/Mexico Border

Laredo, TX – The federal government has opened a new no-kill shelter in this border town to help find homes for thousands of new illegal immigrants who continue flooding into the country.

In the past, if an illegal alien sneaked across our border and was captured by the US Border Patrol, they were either tagged and released or held for three days before being euthanized if a suitable home could not be found for them. Continue Reading

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IRS Commissioner Gollum Gets Grilled by Congress About His Precious Agency

IRS Commissioner Gollum Gets Grilled by Congress About His Precious Agency

Washington D.C. – This week has not been kind to Gollum and his “precious” agency, the Internal Revenge Service, as the creature has been on the hot seat having to answer for the mysterious disappearance of Lois Lerner’s relevant emails. Continue Reading

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New California Law Requires College Student to Have Written Consent Before Sex

New California Law Requires College Student to Have Written Consent Before Sex

A new California law requires that before engaging in any type of sexual encounter, college students must first sign a legal document to authorize the act or acts to take place and must be witnessed by at least one uninvolved party.

Supporters of the new law claim this will cut down or eliminate ‘date rape’ and spurious sexual assault claims. Opponents state that this will stop young people from engaging in sex entirely.

“My girl and I went out a couple of nights ago and we started French kissing”, said USC student Marty Levin. “But when we got back to my dorm room we had to fill out all this paperwork, find a witness then have the guy watch over us! By the time we were done with the paperwork neither of us was horny anymore!”

“There are more important things in life than being horny and having sex and orgasms”, said Santa Barbara Based Antioch University President Dr. Nancy Leper. “Go to college, establish yourselves with a career and find yourself a suitable spouse who you plan to remain with forever. Then, in order to produce offspring, you can think about having orgasms”.

College senior Sharon Stratalucci agrees with the new law. “I like sex but I don’t want to put his penis in my mouth! My agreement will stipulate no fellatio, no funny positions and plenty of breast sucking and cunnilingus. Wow! This makes me feel powerful!”

“I can deal with it”, said graduate student Jake Halper. “I have lots of documents in my car and a witness who will be there at a moments notice!”

UCLA Freshman Rob Rogers summed it up nicely. “This is so fucking stupid!”

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After Dismal Sales, Publisher Recommends Other Uses For Hillary Clinton Book

After Dismal Sales, Publisher Recommends Other Uses For Hillary Clinton Book

New York City – Publishing giant Simon & Schuster, desperate to find a way to turn a profit on Hillary Clinton’s new book “Hard Choices”, has come out with other possible uses for the book.

The company hopes to entice some who don’t intend to read the book to purchase it anyway. Continue Reading

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“Yucky World” with Dick and Janey: Obamymorons! (They’re not what you think!)

“Yucky World” with Dick and Janey: Obamymorons! (They’re not what you think!)

Announcer: Today’s guest on “Yucky World” will be noted political consultant and lexicologist W.C. “Scoop” Pooper. He will be discussing a new political term, Obamymoron, with our talk show hosts Dick and Janey.

Janey: Welcome, Scoop.

Dick: Hey, what’s the latest poop, Scoop? Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!

Scoop: Well, President Obama has finally stepped in it this time with the Sergeant Bergdahl trade!

Dick: I’m not surprised. That’s what happens when you lead with your bee-hind.

Janey: Please, Dick! What’s an Obamymoron, Scoop?

Scoop: It’s when people realize that what you said or did contradicts reality.

Dick: Like Bergdahl was so near death that the President didn’t have time to consult Congress?

Scoop: Right!

Dick: Then “If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor” would also be an Obamymoron?

Scoop: Absolutely! But it doesn’t have to be something President Obama said or did.

Janey: How about “Read my lips! No new taxes”?

Scoop: Exactly! Obamymorons can be bi-partisan!

Dick: What about Susan Rice saying Bergdahl was “captured on the battlefield” and “served the United States with honor and distinction”?

Scoop: That’s a double Obamymoron. Those are hard to do!

Dick: Not for Rice. Don’t forget her Obamymoron that the attack in Benghazi started out as a protest over a video.

Janey: I’m a little concerned that some people might think the term Obamymoron is racist.

Scoop: You know, it’s really just a play on the word oxymoron, like “jumbo shrimp”. Obamymorons are very similar to oxymorons; they both have built-in contradictions!

Dick: And no one’s ever said that using the term oxymoron meant a person was prejudiced against oxen.

Janey: Ri-i-ght, Dick. But why pick on Obama?

Scoop: Because he’s so easy. Remember when Obama said he was against presidential signing statements being attached to bills and that his administration would be the most transparent ever?

Dick: Obamymorons!

Janey: But sometimes reality is different from what you expected.

Scoop: Yeah! And when reality gets in the way of transparency, and Bush can’t be blamed, you can always crash Lois Lerner’s IRS computer!

Dick: Look at the President’s goal of equal pay for men and women. The problem was, for Obama’s White House staff, women only earned 88% of what men did!

Scoop: Obamymoron!

Dick: How about “I did not have sexual relations with that woman Monica Lewinsky”?

Scoop: Doink! That’s not an Obamymoron!

Dick: Doink! Huh?

Janey: Clinton had sex with her, Dick, not sexual relations.

Dick: I’m confused.

Janey: About sex? I’m not surprised.

Scoop: Clinton was being a lawyer and parsing words.

Janey: Speaking of parsing words, our sponsors have just sent us an email indicating that they would like to have an Obamymoron contest.

Dick: Just email your Obamymorons to us here at the station.

Scoop: Will there be prizes?

Dick: Everyone who enters is guaranteed a free IRS audit!

Scoop: What about special prizes for the best responses?

Janey: For second place, your audit will be conducted in the Rose Garden.

Dick: And you will get a free beer compliments of the President.

Scoop: I’m afraid to ask what first place wins.

Dick: A one week all expenses paid vacation to Qatar where you will stay with the Taliban Five at their safe house.

Janey: Wouldn’t a Taliban safe house be a…

Scoop: Yes! …An oxymoronic Obamymoron!!

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Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Politics0 Comments

The Many (questionable) Roads To Success

The Many (questionable) Roads To Success

So many are struggling in our current difficult economic times where the few controlling the financial strings of the country have the rest of us dancing around just to survive while they watch from the porches of their grand estates grandly amused.

In order to help those so afflicted (approximately 90% of the population) we offer this famous series of success videos and books designed to show you examples of what other individuals, groups and nations have done to win wealth for themselves. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Politics0 Comments

CNN Knows What Happened to Missing Emails From Lois Lerner

CNN Knows What Happened to Missing Emails From Lois Lerner

Atlanta – CNN president, Jeff Zucker, has leaked information that shows the network is aware of what happened to two years of missing emails between embattled IRS operative, Lois Lerner, and various people in government, including the White House. Continue Reading

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