Category: Politics
Obama Discovers Cancer Cure: Republicans Outraged
WASHINGTON, DC (GlossyNews) — In a surprise press conference this morning, Barack Obama announced to the American public that he has discovered the cure for cancer. “Several well-known medical researchers and I have finally found a way to put an…
Fox Analyst Reverses Opinion About Recession After Losing Job
NEW YORK, NY (GlossyNews) — A former Fox News economic analyst, who only last year said the worst part of the recession was over, is coming under fire from liberals for now claiming the economy is worse than ever. When…
U.S. Supports North Korea’s Execution of Official Who Ruined Economy
PYONGYANG, North Korea (GlossyNews) — During a time when brewing unrest and financial insolvency are destabilizing the country, North Korean officials have executed Labor Party Chief Pak Nam-ki before a firing squad as punishment for a bureaucratic blunder.
Senator Caught in “Affair of the Heart” with Neighbor’s Doberman
WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — Anonymous sources are alleging that a prominent but unnamed United States senator is engaged in an intensely emotional relationship with his next door neighbor’s Doberman Pinscher. “It’s only a matter of time before the tabloids get…
Anti-Obama ‘Satire’ Written by Zombies?
Much to the dismay of intelligent people the world over, anti-Obama satirists have become robotic, even predictable, running the same treadmill every day in an effort to bring him down. Their constant decrying of the President, no matter what he…
Anti-Washington Sentiment Rampant in Washington
WASHINGTON DC (GlossyNews) – In a relentless and seemingly oxymoronic trend, more and more politicians are campaigning – successfully – on a platform of distrust of government officials. Various party primaries held in several states have shown a tendency for…
GOP Opposes Jesus’ 2012 Presidential Campaign
KANSAS CITY, MO (GlossyNews) — Jesus Christ announced today that he is throwing his halo in the ring as a contender for the 2012 presidential race. Rather than commencing with the long-awaited Second Coming, the Big Three decided that He…
Ethics Committee Investigation Finds Rep. Eric Massa “Icky”
NEW YORK, NY (GlossyNews) — Former New York Representative Eric Massa admitted to groping male staff members, but claims that he never behaved in a sexually inappropriate manner. Massa, age 50, went a step further and told reporters that he…
Succession and Secession Causing Palin Major Confusion
HOUSTON, TX — Sarah Palin, speaking a few weeks ago at a rally for Rick Perry, referred to news about Texans wanting to secede from the union by saying, “They got that wrong. Texas today, I don’t think they’re seceding,…
Dejected Dubya Shunned and Defriended by Former Cabinet
CRAWFORD, TX (GlossyNews) — Family members say former U.S. President George W. Bush, now bereft of around-the-clock advisors, is having trouble coping with retirement. According to insiders, without his daily briefings Bush is often stumped by life in the real…