Senator Caught in “Affair of the Heart” with Neighbor’s Doberman

WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — Anonymous sources are alleging that a prominent but unnamed United States senator is engaged in an intensely emotional relationship with his next door neighbor’s Doberman Pinscher. “It’s only a matter of time before the tabloids get a hold of this,” said a visibly shaken staffer.

For now, those close to the situation claim that the senator’s wife is standing by her man, but noted that her support is tenuous and unlikely to last. “Look, nothing physical has happened,” the source confided, “but this truly is an affair of the heart. In that respect, it’s infinitely more damaging to the marriage than a sexual relationship. I doubt [the senator’s wife] will hold up to this kind of betrayal.”

Samantha, the Pinscher in question, is described as a totally different type of girl than the senator is accustomed to –she’s quiet, loyal and calm-submissive. “Whereas the senator’s wife never shuts up,” said a staffer, “Sam just sits and listens.”

Presently unclear is what impact the revelation will have on the senator’s re-election bid this November, but many Washington insiders have shrugged off the rumor as “business as usual,” with one stating that he wouldn’t be surprised if the senator coasted through the scandal completely unscathed. “But the Doberman’s career is finished,” he opined.

Others disagree about the impact of the controversy on the senator’s future. “I’m not at all surprised that this has happened,” said another unnamed source with close ties to the politician. “And the worst is yet to come. It’s not a one-time incident. It’s going to happen again. This guy’s been chasing tail for years.”

Author: keileenl