Category: Politics
RNC Funding Calls for Chairman Neuvo, Hold the Mexican
Want to be the next chairman of the Republican National Committee? Take this easy essay test and send it back to the RNC in Washington. Be sure to include all your contact info so we can get in touch if…
Obama Signs New Jim Crow Bill into Law
Washington D.C. – Continuing a perfect record of being a doormat for the Neo-Fascists, President Obama signed a reverse civil rights bill into law today. Specifically, the bill addresses the ire of restaurant owners who are tired of serving pesky colored…
Death Panel Initiative Kills Trees Not People
The debate over whether advance care planning is actually another way to describe death panels is rearing its ugly head again since regulation started January 1st. The few folks who are still fuzzy on exactly what the intent of the…
Bush Accepted As Official Court Jester By Obama’s Cabinet
George W. was accepted on as the official court Jester for the Obama cabinet. Appearing before the assembled advisers for the first time, W. had them suppressing giggles as soon as he opened his mouth. “I am pleased as punch…
Barbour Picked as 2012 Favorite, for what Remains to be Seen
Haley Barbour this week catapulted past other GOP Presidential hopefuls, a feat considered all the more amazing by leading physicists since Barbour weighs about 350 pounds. As battle lines form for the 2012 nominating process, consensus among political veterans is…
Barbour to Develop Decoder Ring for 2012 Run
YAZOO CITY, MS — GlossyNews.com In preparation for announcing his intentions to run for President in 2012, Haley Barbour, Governor of Mississippi, has begun extensive development with the Ovaltine Company of the 2012 Presidential Secret Decoder, much like those in…
Earmarks Replaced by Posthumous Pardons; Many Dead Delighted
“It was going to be a discontented winter, but now it looks like glorious summer” said incoming Congressman Richard Plantagenet on the new GOP voter outreach plan. Speaking from his house in York, PA this week, the Tea Party favorite…
Cindy McCain’s Chic Haircut Causes Senate Upheaval
PRESCOTT, AZ — GlossyNews.com: Re-elected Sen. John McCain, going on 74, seemed to coast to victory in November, easily beating Tuscon Democrat Rodney Glassman to hang onto his Arizona Senate seat. But his wife’s new chic haircut got major press,…
Investigation of Elizabeth Edwards Death Announced
Senator Denton R. Fender (R-TX) this week revealed hearings will begin in January regarding the suspicious death of Elizabeth Edwards, wife of former Presidential hopeful John Edwards. The press release hints at a scandal so diabolical, DC pundits are already…
Gays in military ask for more fashionable fatigues
Washington, DC – On the high heels of the historic vote to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” openly gay troops are now pushing for the Pentagon to bring in the top fashion designers to create more stylish uniforms. Dubbing it…