MediaWatch has concluded a study asking cable news media hosts to rate their performance in reporting on the debt ceiling talks in Washington.

A whopping 67% of MSNBC hosts believe they have pushed the envelope too far and are fearful that once the debt ceiling crisis has fully wound down, without having inflicted the kind of pain predicted, they will all be seen as Chicken Littles.

In fact, Rachel Maddow is so mad at herself, she’s not been able to step in front of the camera this week at all except to make more dam commercials for MSNBC. Continue Reading

The current recession is a big success state stated the heads of all the multi national corporations unanimously in their secret publication The Upper Crust Of The Upper Crust.

This publication is known and distributed only to those possessing more than 50 million dollars or controlling more than 10% of the local economy in whatever country they are in.

Reading from a copy carelessly thrown away in Bill Gates’s trash bin, we were able to glean this information from an article therein entitled “We’re In The Money, The REAL Money!” in which it becomes evident from the exuberant writing that the bad economy that has plagued us since the fall of 2007 was a planned and controlled event by the top corporate forces that run things in our financial world.

Using a series of ingeniously camouflaged, decoyed ploys, the top richest 2% of the world’s moneyed people managed to shift the balance of power so that they effectively controlled 98% of the world’s wealth.

“An amazing economic coup d’ tat!” crowed the article. “The world’s wealth now belongs in our hands where it should be. We have successfully eliminated the middle class and made slaves of the lower class and the managers who direct them.”

It is now apparent that the entire 2007 recession was an economic set up for the takeover by the upper classes of the entire financial systems of the modern world. By ballooning the housing market and shoving banks to the point of bankruptcy, they have successfully impoverished the entire working class by pulling the rug out from under them by attacking them at their most basic needs- their money and their living spaces.

It has successfully put them into such a position of desperation and need that the rich will now have a source of cheap labor for the next decade. Already normal people cannot manage to save any money and are forced to work mind bending hours at low wages just to survive.

There is a great pool of homeless in such difficult straits that they will do anything for work. The brilliant maneuvering of the upper class has successfully stripped the lower and middle classes of whatever power or wealth they had.

“The world is our oyster and the bottom feeders can have our scraps to suck on! Let them eat cake, or, better yet, let them eat the crumbs of ours.” states the article. “We have now replaced God as the top man for them to worship.”

Breaking now to The Daily Trough: a caddy in the important Obama-Boehner June golf meeting at Andrews AFB has come forward with information on the current impasse between both leaders.

This caddy strongly resembles Paul Krugman but said this appearance is entirely coincidental. “No,” he said. “My name is Joe. Joe Steigwitz.” Continue Reading

EDITOR’S NOTE: ARTICLE WRITTEN BEFORE AGREEMENT WAS REACHED – After recent discussions in Congress over John Boehner and Harry Reid’s plans to solve the debt ceiling crisis dissolved into gavel smashing and cross-aisle spitting, political analysts have predicted that the fate of the country’s credit rating might boil down to petty children’s games like Shoots and Ladders, Candy Land, or a Rock, Paper, Scissors tournament. Continue Reading

We have missed a great opportunity. Instead of passing a debt ceiling agreement, we should have just let the poop hit the fan and let everything fall though. Bills would go unpaid- then we would learn what our true priorities are and pay those. Continue Reading

In what can only be described as a doubly penetrating scandal, pictures have now emerged of an exposed Boehner. According to a source close to Boehner, the politician is currently involved in a scandal involving emails sent to a 68-year-old male resident of the Phillipines, named Ping Tong. Continue Reading

Under heavy pressure, mainly from the freshman Tea Party Representatives, Timothy Geithner admitted that while his August 2nd deadline for raising the debt ceiling was not arbitrary, it was hardly fiscally driven.

Geithner acknowledged that after August 2nd, his full attention would turn to preparing for the Jersey Shore Season 4 premier and did not want to have to be “doing math and nerdy shit while Pauly D crushes pussy.” Geithner, a known MTV afficionado, has spent the past 2 years developing an elaborate, 48-hour ritual to ready himself for the premier. Luckily he has given us exclusive access of his schedule to. Continue Reading

AMES, IA —GlossyNews The Iowa GOPTea party Straw Poll August 13th will be the more unusual considering the political times it will record. GOPTea Chairman Matt Strawn, one-N-short-of-namesaking the Iowa Straw Poll, announced today that the listing of candidates will be quite unique in 2011, as it will be a ballot with 10 blank name-spaces. Continue Reading

Modernization efforts in post-Mubarak Egypt were dealt yet another blow this week, with announcement that the first ever Arabic spelling contest will not take place.

Leaders of the fledgling coalition seeking to transition Egypt from military rule to a secular republic were quick to answer outrage from western media on what’s being called ‘Spell-gate.’ Continue Reading

STILLWATER, MN —EBBQ Asked to respond to Jerry Brown’s earth-shaking revelation that “history should be honest,” in relation to California schools educating students about gay culture, Rep. Bachmann quickly announced that she has just recently become personally involved in rewriting the official gay page on Wikipedia, so it will be correct historically. Continue Reading

A reporter covering the debacle that is the debt ceiling talks has just published a story in his local hometown paper, The Times-Picayune, which helps shed light on what he believes is the number one priority coming out of the Republican camp—the importance of a good lunch. Continue Reading

Embattled ex-chief of the IMF Dominique Strauss-Kahn continues to defend himself against mounting sexual assault allegations.  While Americans are quick to mark Strauss-Kahn as guilty, his compatriots have not adopted a similar view with 57% of France reporting they believe he was set up by political rivals in a recent opinion poll. Continue Reading

Just as no one knows the cause of earthquakes, sudden mass culture changes are a matter of great mystery to sociologists. History is rife with instances of these shifts. Communist Russia was seen as heroic, but then all of America changed its mind in 1946. Cigarettes were once the epitome of cool, but now smokers are pariahs huddled outside office buildings as if waiting for the next train to Auschwitz. And of course, there’s Adam Lambert. Continue Reading

The Daily Trough reports that Grand Old Party Speaker of the House John Boehner has categorically denied political and special interests in current GOP debt-ceiling strategies.

A spokesperson on behalf of the party, who wishes to remain anonymous, has said, “We categorically reject that our aim is to obstruct any and all efforts by the Obama administration to work out a compromise. We are absolutely interested in compromise and serving the people of this great nation. Continue Reading

It’s been revealed that British R&B diva, Amy Winehouse has been found dead in her Camden Town flat in north west London. At this point, there has been no confirmed cause of death, but some speculators are of the opinion that alcohol and/or drugs may have been a contributory factor.

They’re probably right.

Poor Amy, who sang so passionately that she didn’t want to go to rehab, may still have been alive if she’d given the rehab another shot. Continue Reading

In a series of speeches the newly announced presidential candidate Michelle Bachmann blasted popular websites such as Google and Wikipedia for causing the slow economic recovery as pawns in President Obama’s grand plan for “turning our country into a nation of slaves.” Continue Reading