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HOT OFF THE PRESS! DONALD TRUMP SEX SCANDAL! (& First Executive Order)

HOT OFF THE PRESS! DONALD TRUMP SEX SCANDAL! (& First Executive Order)

Immediately following his inauguration, President Donald J. Trump issued his first executive order; demanding records from AT&T, Comcast and other Internet Service Providers for anyone who has ever googled naked pictures of Melania Trump. Continue Reading

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Award Winning Dick Feted in California

Award Winning Dick Feted in California

Jerry Brown, the aging governor of California, addressed a special session of the state legislature yesterday to nominate Dick Blum, the husband of Senator Dianne Feinstein, to receive this year’s prestigious Charles Crocker Award. Crocker is the well-known Robber Baron from the golden days of the trans-continental railroad. In his remarks, Brown said “Like Charles Crocker before him, Mr. Blum has inspired us all by not allowing himself to be sidetracked by even the most egregious criticisms and name calling.” Governor Brown was referring to the persistent charges of nepotism, corruption and outright thievery after Mr. Blum was given the contract for constructing the long awaited Bullet Train. Continue Reading

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Spreading Elucidation

Spreading Elucidation

© 2017 Tom Skulldaney

Taking sides to champion our own political heroes is like hawking gangrene as the cure for psoriasis. The only side we should take is our own and stay tough on those we’ve allowed to lead us. They only go astray because we let them. For some reason they’ve come to believe we’ve elected them so they can be afforded a good living. A great living in most cases.

When the information age was dumped on us, I suspect there was great concern among those who had burrowed themselves into scurrilous public service. Information threatened our very ignorance. A requirement for their success. Imagine their delight when they discovered it wasn’t a threat at all. It was a tool. Continue Reading

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Trudeau Eulogies: The Fun NEVER Ends!

Trudeau Eulogies: The Fun NEVER Ends!

TRUDEAU  ADOLF HITLER EULOGY

Adolf Hitler did many things that we, as 21st century, progressive, tolerant, metropolitan Canadians, find difficult to accept.

But Hitler did stand firm against the Red Army, preventing them from swamping Europe and perpetrating the hideous mass atrocities and crimes against Humanity they committed elsewhere, on the other side of the world, in Russia, or thereabouts.

TRUDEAU BENITO MUSSOLINI EULOGY

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Totalitarian Tenets to be Tenaciously Tendered via Trump Tweet

Totalitarian Tenets to be Tenaciously Tendered via Trump Tweet

‘Orwellian Obedience is Ordered to be Ordinarily Observed,’ says first Tenet via Trump Tweet.

“We’re going to win so much, you’ll get sick of winning,” begins a statement released today by Kellyanne Conway, Donald Trump’s transition team spokesperson and former scarecrow template. “And to win, every team needs a strong leader — a leader everyone obeys, no questions asked. This is why we’re starting our new ‘Tenet via Trump Tweet’ regimen.”

“From the moment Donald J Trump is sworn in as President of the United States and Ruler of the Free World,” the statement continues, “our Dear Leader will let us know what is expected of us exclusively via Trump Tweet. All citizens will be expected to be followers of Mr Trump’s Twitter account, and to follow each ‘Tenet Tweet’ to the letter. That’s how we Win!” Continue Reading

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A Country Gets The Leaders It Deserves

A Country Gets The Leaders It Deserves

A Country Gets The Leaders It Deserves
An unfunny article-

There is an old saying that “a country gets the leaders it deserves.”

So what does that say about the United States and the choices it has made of late?

It says that we are now a superficial, gullible people, recognizing only projected and imagined qualities in a person. We are so in need of a hero in a land where self interest is the strongest passion that we imagine heroes where there is really only mundaneness. Continue Reading

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Posted in Serious Commentary2 Comments

Trump’s List Of Thing To Do On His First Day In Office.

Trump’s List Of Thing To Do On His First Day In Office.

Trump’s List Of Thing To Do On His First Day In Office.

Have Hillary and Bill ‘mysteriously’ disappear.

Finalize deal with Putin on co-overseeing Russia’s oil industry. Continue Reading

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Glossy News Classics VII. P. Beckert’s ‘GOP Blames Rise in Lesbianism on Obama Adminstration.’

Glossy News Classics VII. P. Beckert’s ‘GOP Blames Rise in Lesbianism on Obama Adminstration.’

NOTE FROM WALLACE:

Patti’s corpus is vast and well worth reading. Explore it!

***

On Tuesday night, President Barack Obama gave his 5th State of the Union address. It was a mixed bag, if you ask anyone who was listening. As usual, Obama failed in his attempt to bring the country to a closer understanding of each other. The GOP response to the SOTU address proved that point. Continue Reading

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Glossy News Classics VI. rfreed’s President Obama Stars in ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’ (3/3)

Glossy News Classics VI. rfreed’s President Obama Stars in ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’ (3/3)

Last time:

“How could it come to this?” Obama asked more to himself than to the others.

“How did it happen? Because we weren’t paying attention, that’s why! We slowly let the hooligans get more and more power and let them chisel away our real freedoms until the common man had so few left that he didn’t even have the power to defend them!”

“And Washington let it happen,” murmured Obama.

The story continues: Continue Reading

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Glossy News Classics VI. rfreed’s President Obama Stars in ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’ (2/3)

Glossy News Classics VI. rfreed’s President Obama Stars in ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’ (2/3)

Last time:

“Why did you do such a damn fool thing?” asked Obama.

“Because, I am your guardian angel,” answered the man.

“What? Now I’ve heard everything!” retorted the President.

“Well, I am here trying to earn my wings by helping you.”

“I’ve had enough for one night! I wish I had never come out here. I wish I had never become President. God, I wish I had never been born!” he stated in exasperation.

“Your wish is my command!” and the little man closed his eyes and blinked in I Dream Of Jeanie fashion.

The story continues: Continue Reading

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Glossy News Classics VI. rfreed’s President Obama Stars in ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’ (1/3)

Glossy News Classics VI. rfreed’s President Obama Stars in ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’ (1/3)

NOTE FROM WALLACE:

Keep reading rfreed’s work! 

Now, this one is interesting…

***

President Obama gazed down from the icy bridge into the swirling frigid waters of the Potomac below him.

In the darkness of the night the distance between him and its whirlpools seemed vast.

He was at an end.

The difficulties of his Presidency seemed as dark, endless and foreboding as the waters he looked down upon. Continue Reading

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The Machiavellian Guide To Becoming President

The Machiavellian Guide To Becoming President

The Machiavellian Guide To Becoming President
(as channeled from the nether worlds to his humble servants Donald Trump and rfreed)

Note to the historically impaired – Niccolò Machiavelli was a 15th century historian, writer and politician who emphasized using the Dark Side of the Force when ruling. Rumor has it that President Select Donald Trump keeps a copy of his book ‘The Prince’ at his beside to ponder over when he is finished with his Tweets for the night. Continue Reading

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Dynasty’s End? The ‘Annus Horribilis’ of Hill & Bill Clinton

Dynasty’s End? The ‘Annus Horribilis’ of Hill & Bill Clinton

One of  the many unfortunate outcomes of 2016 is the denial of influence rendered to one Bill Clinton.

Riding #IMWITHHER were many odd bedfellows.

The Clinton Foundation, and her sister Clinton Global Initiative, had raised untold millions, right up until Election Day, from the Gulf States and military contractors like Lockheed Martin Marrieta.

With the election upset, lawsuits are coming from some strange places. Continue Reading

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Hot Out of the Oven – New Donald Trump Memes!

Donald Trump Memes Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, World News0 Comments

Hillary Wears Pantsuit to Beaver Shot Showdown

Hillary Wears Pantsuit to Beaver Shot Showdown

Hillary was once again embarrassed by a Trump. But this time it was Melania. The gamey Mrs. Clinton accepted the challenge but was woefully unprepared to compete with the lovely Mrs. Trump who was dressed in a beautiful ensemble of a low cut, blue cashmere sweater over a knee length pleated white skirt.

Melania had been seated first in one of two metal folding chairs placed close to the edge of the stage with the jumbotron focused close up on her shapely legs. The crowd was clearly anticipating some warm up exercises but were quickly disappointed when Melania, keeping her knees tightly closed, affected a perfectly done look of feigned modesty by pressing her fingers against her lips and cooing. Continue Reading

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Glossy News Accused of Balanced, Factually Accurate Reporting

Glossy News Accused of Balanced, Factually Accurate Reporting

The government and media have angrily accused Glossy News of publishing well researched, balanced and factually accurate articles.

‘This is a total disgrace,’ passionately screamed a representative of the National Union of Journalists. ‘Glossy News is respected for its spoof news stories. We expect fake news from its writers. Some of what it’s publishing now is, well, just plain wrong.’ Continue Reading

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