Category: Top Stories
Branson, Virgin to Build Ski Resort in Florida
London (GlossyNews) — A spokesman for Richard Branson today announced the entrepreneur’s plans to build a world class ski resort in Florida to take advantage of the changing climate. Stanley Kidd, in a press conference in London laid out Branson’s…
Right Wingers Send The Obamanator Back In Time To Set Things Right
January 2013- Republicans, their plans for world domination foiled by the overwhelming win in the presidential election that again brought Barack Obama to the throne of the most powerful country in the world, are upset. In anger over their bitter…
Paliens Infiltrate Sarah Palin Events to Undermine Conservatives
Little is known about the group calling itself “Paliens” but sources have indicated that they are a group of clairvoyants who are secretly infiltrating Sarah Palin events and using their supernatural powers to alter the intelligence of Palin herself to…
Catholics Refuse To Recognize Ronald Reagan As A Saint
The Catholic Church today rejected the Republican Party’s attempt to have Ronald Reagan canonized as a saint. The Republicans have been striving for some time to win over the Church to their viewpoint of Reagan as being divine, but the…
Warning: Bank Zombies Out to Get You
A new, terrifying species of vampire has been discovered that has begun a feeding frenzy throughout the world. The horrifying part is that it haunts the least likely of places, your local bank! This vampire is a new one for…
Congress Accidentally Gives South Dakota Back to Sioux
Washington DC (GlossyNews) — On Friday, in a late business wrap up, the US Congress gave back the state of South Dakota to the Oglala Sioux Tribe. Reports have surfaced that an obscure bill, which was suppose to cede a…
It’s War: Tiny Countries Move Against the US
Meneng, Nauru, Micronesia (GlossyNews) — In breaking news this morning, the government of the sleepy Micronesian island nation of Nauru has joined with the tiny nations of Monaco and Vatican City in declaring a preemptive war on the United States….
Gore Collects Internet Royalties to Stop Global Warming
Geneva, Switzerland (GlossyNews) — Albert A Gore, Nobel Prize Winner and one of the pioneers of the internet and the modern World Wide Web, announced today that as of March 1, 2010, he will begin to collect royalties for commercial…
XE, Artists Formerly Known As Blackwater, Open Kill Thrill Amusement Park
Hayden, ID (GlossyNews) — Soldiers of Fortune, paramilitary buffs and serial killers can all revel in the new theme park started by Xe, the artists once known as Blackwater. Fresh from getting off their convictions of killing 17 Iraqi civilians…
Wal-Mart to Debut Hire-A-Zombie Program
Wal-Mart, leading the way in innovative ways to cut wages and benefits for American workers, has successfully created a “Hire-a-Zombie” program that is expected to dramatically change the Wal-Mart shopping experience.