Washington DC (GlossyNews) — On Friday, in a late business wrap up, the US Congress gave back the state of South Dakota to the Oglala Sioux Tribe. Reports have surfaced that an obscure bill, which was suppose to cede a 100 acre parcel of land in South Dakota back to the Oglala Sioux, had a small typographic error in the official copy which, accidentally, ceded the entire state of South Dakota back to the Oglala Sioux.
President Obama signed the measure into law without reading it late on Friday and on Saturday morning, the Oglala Sioux began the process of taking over a number of Uranium mines and oil fields. A group of South Dakota Republican state legislators stated that the acts were illegal and the law obviously a mistake. However, federal lawmakers are now into a two-week recess and are not available to set the motion right.
When asked if he could rescind his signature, President Obama replied, “It isn’t my place to redo the work of congress. If congress has decided to give South Dakota back to the Indians, well, I support that. My signature stands.”
Tribal leaders stress that the law ‘makes sense’ and ‘sets the record right’. They are encouraging non violent take overs of white businesses and properties before congress has a chance to change the laws.
“Possession is 9 tenths of the law, mother fuckers!” yelled a young Indian as we walked past.
The author of the bill in question – Representative Tom Chase (D-SD) said, “Well, I was trying to help some Sioux out by getting them a piece of their land back, I guess we just helped ALL of them instead.”
South Dakota governor M Michael Rounds reportedly said in a press conference Sunday morning that, “We all know this is a mistake. If necessary I will order out the National Guard to keep the unlawful seizure of property to a minimum.”
A spokesman for the Oglala Tribe remarks of Rounds, “Who is he? I think he might be a little out of his jurisdiction now. Technically, now the Chief of the Oglala Sioux Nation is governor of South Dakota.”
In related news, gas prices at a newly tribalized Texaco gas station near the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation have dropped to 25 cents a gallon for regular unleaded. Which is good news for the folks waiting in line at the Ford dealership in Sturgis. Tribal leaders say cars will go on sale there for $300.00 each on Thursday.
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