Category: Top Stories
Hillary Presidential Hopes Fading
Grand Rapids, MI native Hillary Pierce was shocked this week to learn CNN thinks her senior class presidency bid is doomed. According to lunch room witnesses, seventeen-year old Hillary was inconsolable and left early, missing her AP Chemistry class. At…
Released from Gitmo, Right Back to Terrorism
Usually reclusive Rock phenomenon Faisal X spoke to reporters this week about stardom, musical influences and career goals. “My roots; middle class upbringing in Jordan. Studying engineering in France when I got radicalized. Next thing I’m lugging ammo boxes over…
Why Do We Let An Australian Tell Us What We Should Think?
Day after day, hour after hour, millions of Americans tune in willingly to hear political diatribe that is specially designed to align their political beliefs in a particular direction. Amidst stunning eye-catching graphics and up-to-the-minute news bytes, various pundits slam…
Cairo Chaos Bad for Business
Egypt has long been considered the least interesting of Middle East nations. Although respected as the originator of massively silly public works projects, its modern political system has been as constant as the Sphinx. All that changed this week as…
New Donor Cards Provide Cheney Opt-out Option
Bending to demand from potential organ donors, the World Organ Donor Bank, which issues organ donor cards, has printed a box on their cards that allows donors to opt-out when it comes to donating a heart to Vice-President and war…
Dick Cheney’s Heart Transplant Not Going Exactly As Expected
Surgeons have had great difficulty with fitting former President of Vice Dick Cheney (aka- ‘Tricky Dicky the Second’) with a transplanted heart. Each attempt to put a foreign heart into the open breast of Mr. Cheney has resulted in rejection-…
Tunisians Going About Their Revolution The Right Way
The revolution in Tunisia is one gone right. In an astonishingly short time a popular uprising in this small North African nation has brought thousands of disgruntled people out on the streets in such force that the dictatorial President Ben…
Steps to Remedy Sophomoric Behavior Expected at SOTU Address
Whoever came up with the term “date night” to describe the seating arrangements anticipated at the President’s State of the Union Address on Tuesday night has a good handle on just how juvenile the behavior of some of our lawmakers…
Right Wingers Develop Wild West Show, Cirque du Sarah Style
In an effort to restore their public image after the shooting in Arizona and its aftermath, the Republican National Committee has put forth a proposal to produce a touring Wild West Show, starring leaders of the new conservative movement. Sarah…
Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ; McCain Really Lacks a Clue
This week senator John McCain really threw down. No, not his teeth or dignity, those have both been forsaken since 2000. No this week he threw down with the crazy, and even for a die-hard republican, he ante’d up the…