Egypt has long been considered the least interesting of Middle East nations. Although respected as the originator of massively silly public works projects, its modern political system has been as constant as the Sphinx. All that changed this week as thousands took to the streets in a defiant bid for something more relevant than ‘everybody gets to vote but not everybody gets to run for office.’
Since that’s also the political system favored in the US, the State Department sees this spontaneous rejection of the Egyptian status quo as troubling. More than that, the recent unrest may signal a disturbing new trend for one heartland company.
Hoosier Novelties headquartered in French Lick, IN worries the Cairo demonstrations might be early warnings of the death knell for that family business established in 1918 by Lou Killebrew.
“We’re suddenly flat on Middle East sales” said a somber Drew Killebrew, HN Director of Sales. “Somebody should be buying our DTA-1400, but it’s not happening. It’s just weird; we don’t know what to make of it.”
The DTA-1400 accounts for 40 percent of Hoosier Novelties’ annual sales. The ‘Death To America’ kit first popularized in the disputed Gaza Strip region includes eight US flags, pre-soaked in gasoline, twelve protest signs with English language generic grievances, and a 12-foot Uncle Sam effigy also pre-soaked in gasoline.
HN CEO Sue Killebrew used a more optimistic tone in her assessment of the recent sales decline. “We continue to have faith in the DTA-1400 as a full service outrage vehicle for our valued customers. Some confused Arabs are temporarily focused on solving their own problems without blaming outside forces. Sure, it’s crazy, but stuff like that happens. We remain confident the ‘Great Satan’ mantra is a value adder in Middle East culture, and Hoosier Novelties is the most trusted brand in English language protest signs and flammable accessories.”