Category: Top Stories
No New York Times on Sunday Bigger Disaster than Hurricane Irene
As Hurricane Irene barrels up the eastern seaboard toward New York, many wonder how New Yorkers will fare once hit by a category 1 hurricane, the likes of which they’ve not seen in years. Hurricane Irene is giving us an…
Bachmann Claims Decisive 0.93% Victory in Straw Poll
AMES, IA —GlossyNews At $30 each, 16,892 Iowans were trucked to Ames for a day of politickin’ (locally it’s called ‘pot lickin’) and BBQ. A grand $506,760 was the total straw vote cash take for the GOPTea in Ames, Iowa…
Obama Reaches Out to Republican Pinheads to Solve America’s Problems
WASHINGTON – Faced with increasing criticism from within his own party about his concessions to Republicans as part of the recent debt ceiling deal, President Obama yesterday attempted to explain the reasoning behind his approach during a meeting with Democratic…
Charlie Sheen Backing Rick Perry for President Because “He’s Smokin’ Hot”
It used to be that a person would back a Presidential candidate based on his voting record and his willingness to serve the American people. Honorable men and women would ask for your vote and in exchange, they would let…
Feds Considering Stricter Warnings on Booze Bottles
After 25 years of successful lobbying against warning label reform, Big Tobacco suffered a major defeat this week when the FDA announced that starting in 2012 cigarettes would sport new graphic labels depicting charred lungs and dead bodies warning of…
Germany to Leave EU… for the Children
Stocks plunged worldwide and oil closed below $80 today on news that Germany will end its European Union membership effective 2012. Financial analysts and global security experts are unable to predict how the unexpected move will shape an increasingly interconnected…
Ann Coulter’s Torrid Love Email to Radical Christian Murderer Breivik
The ever intrepid Wonki Leaks has scored another scoop with a revealing email sent by the acid blooded extreme American right winger Ann Coulter to the Norwegian mass murderer Anders Breivik. Hacked from Breivik’s email account by Rupert Murdoch himself,…
Global Debt Crisis Eases Worries About Global Warming
NEW YORK – Despite suffering through one of the hottest summers on record, Americans are finding that their previous concerns about the possible long-term effects of global warming have been nearly eradicated as a result of their newfound fears about…
Obama ‘Hits Up’ Powerball Winners for Money
WASHINGTON DC—In a desperate attempt to save the United States economy, President Obama approached the recent winners of the $228,900,000 Powerball Jackpot, Tom and Cathleen Morris of Burnsville, MN, and asked the married couple if he could, “Hit that sh%t…
Amazing New Product, Writer Fiber, Cures Writer’s Block
John Aholi, a writer from Hoboken, New Jersey, has had his fair share of days trying to squeeze out short stories to post on his semi-successful blog “The John.” But now, thanks to a new product called Writer Fiber, the…