Category: Top Stories
“We Can’t Allow the People to Steal This Election”
The right of money to decide elections is being tested in Richmond, California (pop. 105,000), a suburb of San Francisco and Oakland. In a clear rebuke to American-style democracy, millions of dollars from huge corporations may prove inadequate to win…
Senator Rubio’s Facebook Falls Victim to Mildly Harassing Comment
Freshman U.S. Senator Marco Rubio has reportedly suffered a mildly harassing comment on his official Facebook profile. The offending remark was in response to an article the Senator posted which claimed, “Rubio slams Obama, Biden on economy.” The following is…
Pioneering Restaurant “Leftovers” Offers Low Prices, Leftovers
A new restaurant chain called Leftovers recently opened in downtown San Jose, California. Imagine going to your favorite deli and getting a sandwich with a big bite mark it in; most customers would be confused or infuriated, but not at…
Hacker McKinnon Facing Extradition to Jabba the Hutt’s Planet
British computer hacker Gary McKinnon, whose extradition to the US was blocked on humanitarian grounds by UK Home Secretary Theresa May today, now faces a prospect nearly as terrifying: being sent for punishment on the alien planet of Tatooine. McKinnon…
Romney Handily Handled in Second Debate, Cries Foul
The second presidential debate is in the history books, and unlike the empty chair present at the RNC and the first debate, Obama came out swinging and made Governor Mitt Romney look like nothing but a third rate amateur… so…
Romney Threatens to Fire Crowley, Crowd, and China
VILLAGE OF HAMPSTEAD, NEW YORK- The second presidential debate was the scene of chaos as Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney threatened to fire the moderator, debate participants, and an entire nation on Tuesday night. Mitt Romney suffered a severe short…
Paul Ryan: ‘Must Not Look Weak, Must Not Look Weak’
KENTUCKY – Following his televised debate with Vice President Joe Biden Thursday, Mitt Romney’s running mate Paul Ryan insisted: “must not look weak, must not look weak, must not look weak.” Adopting a serious tone during post-debate festivities, the 42-year-old…
Ex-Nazi Guard on Trial for 29,999 Murders Expresses Regrets
Selvoka, Poland-(SatireWorld.com) Former Ukranian concentration camp guard John Demjicunk’s trial ended today with a guilty verdict for the murders committed when he served as a Nazi death camp guard in German occupied Russia during WWII. Earning the title ‘Ivan the…
Obama Debate Prep To Include Joe Biden: Heckler
As President Obama prepares for Tuesday’s debate with failed former Gov. Mitt Romney, a new twist has been added to the normal procedure. Vice-president Joe Biden will fill-in as his opponent for the practice sessions, laughing and heckling incessantly. President…
Romney Admits He “Doesn’t Actually Know” What an Apology Is
Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney was stopped dead in his tracks on the campaign trail by a freelance writer from Teen Times who asked, “Governor Romney, do you actually know what an apology is?” The former governor looked stunned and stammered…