Obama Debate Prep To Include Joe Biden: Heckler

As President Obama prepares for Tuesday’s debate with failed former Gov. Mitt Romney, a new twist has been added to the normal procedure.

Vice-president Joe Biden will fill-in as his opponent for the practice sessions, laughing and heckling incessantly.

President Obama already has a surrogate for this position, a tape of his performance in the first debate, but the subsequent over-the-top performance of the vice-president has altered that strategy.

The difference in prep between the debates is that John Kerry will work with actual policy subjects, and the vice-president will physically jump between them for what campaign insiders have begun calling “the avalanche of boshat” Obama faced during the first debate.

This change has shown positive results in the practice sessions held already. In usual fashion, the president has held up well while discussing actual policy. But when the debate practice switches to the fantasy-based opponent faced in the first debate, Joe Biden interjects with his trademark Irish temperament and charm.

David Plouffe, top strategist for the Obama campaign, explained what they hoped to achieve from this change. “When we prepared for the first debate we expected to face a candidate who would at least vaguely stick to and explain his positions. What we actually ended up with was like debating a bowl of jello without all the fruit.”

“Joe has given us 100 percent in preparing for round 2. He has interrupted statements, thrown out established facts that would throw anyone off their game, and at times, he has even actually thrown things. Joe tossed a cherry slushy at the president at one point and he just kept talking about the taxes the super wealthy never get around to paying.”

“The president was a little uncomfortable with those bright white teeth glaring at him, but then again, who wouldn’t be, but he has been able to work past that.”

“Unless Gov. Romney comes in there Tuesday night and says he’s suddenly in favor of gay abortion or restricting the sale of guns to illegal immigrants, we’ve got all of the bases covered.”

It should be noted that after making that statement, Plouffe called together his staff to determine how best to deal with these two scenarios, as well as “anchor babies that favor the de-regulation of Wall Street” and “Mexi-Canadians [who] oppose offshore drilling.”

Both sides promise that this will be a very different debate from the first one. The only thing we know for sure is that this time Romney won’t be debating the chair.

Story co-written by Brian K. White.

Author: Mike Kelly

I like finding the humor in politics. Sometimes what you hear isn't that far from the bizarre.

2 thoughts on “Obama Debate Prep To Include Joe Biden: Heckler

  1. I too would pay to see this. The debates are fine but they are also free. I want to see fireworks. Biden launching his ass in front of Obama in a mock debate while chuckling his nuts off? Yes. I would pay to see that.

  2. I would pay-per-view to see this debate prep. Since Obama asks me for money like 10 times a day anyway, maybe he should just do it.

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