Category: War Zone
First Seaman to Sail Up The Yin-Yang Gone Missing
Having heard about the mysterious and fabled Ying-Yang by scores of people who claimed to ‘have taken it up there,’ and wondering what going up it might actually mean for himself, sailor and adventurer, Frankie Johnson, advised his friends down…
‘Wannabe’ Terrorist Punk’d In Portland… Aw, Snap
PORTLAND, Ore GlossyNews.com — Taking their cue from the genius of Ashton Kutcher, the FBI staged an elaborate prank on a Corvallis, OR teenager who thought he was part of a Jihadist plot to kill Christmas. Mohamed Osman Mohamud, 19,…
Bush’s Secret: Sears was Target
WILLIS TOWER LOBBY, CHICAGO (Glossy News)—Former Pres G.W. Bush, who prefers to be known as W, visited Chicago to promote his forgettable memoir, My Distant Points: As Opposed to 41’s Vision Thing the other day. In what his press release…
So. Cal Mystery Missile Tale Takes New Turn
It began with video from a California news helicopter. A rapidly ascending object is seen leaving a con trail against the backdrop of a beautiful sunset, several miles offshore. Rampant speculation followed, amid Pentagon denials of any ‘Area 51’ type…
Kim Jong Il Earns Enhance Nickname ‘Lil Dick’
North Korea’s bombing of a residential district on a South Korean island this past week has the entire world on edge to see what lies ahead. The United States is already responding to the threat while holding talks with China…
Snubbed the Cast of “Jersey Shore,” Kim Jong Il Attacks S. Korea
SEOUL, South Korea — Fourteen South Korean Marines and two South Korean civilians were injured after North Korea fired dozens of shells at a South Korean border island on Monday. The attack comes only days after it was discovered that…
Suicide Bombers Struggle to Get Members Union, Keep Union Members
Today union-minded Iraqis formed Suicide Bombers Locale #467 in Baghdad but had to promptly look for a new union hall as a couple of the members brought their work in with them. Sitting outside the smoldering building, the surviving members…
‘Do Over’ Planned As Britain Finally Challenges Revolutionary War Outcome
Citing dissatisfaction over the outcome of the Revolutionary War, the British Crown has decided that a ‘do-over’ would be in best interests of both countries. In order to spark a bit of controversy, her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has arranged…
Kamikaze Ninja Jihadist Taliban Squirrel Brings Down University
World News -Fairbanks, AK GlossyNews.com – An Al Queda influenced jihadist squirrel attempted to create maximum havoc at the University of Alaska in Fairbanks recently. Successfully penetrating the high security at an electrical substation, the fanatical rodent managed to blow…
Osama Bin Laden Found by San Francisco Crackhead
SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. (Glossy News) — October 5, 2010, was as any other day in San Francisco. Tenderloin beat cop Mike McKenna stepped into his routine that morning, patrolling the stretch of Leavenworth that starts at Market Street and ends…