REGIME CHANGE! African ‘Coalition of the Willing’ Swears to Save Oppressed French, Restore Human Rights

Don’t worry, Paris: help is at hand!
Your old friends, Africa, will not forget you!
Human rights are universal!
All oppressors who deny human rights must be crushed without mercy!

Given the widespread oppression and state terror the ruthlessly violent and unaccountable Macron regime is weaponizing against the valiant freedom fighters of the Yellow Jackets (Gilets Jaunes), a courageous and deeply altruistic alliance of humanitarian interventionists from former French colonies have formed a intrepid coalition of the willing…
In order to liberate the persecuted French people from the barbaric, ruthless, ignorant and violent First World dictators who are treating them like garbage!


The government of Mali have said:

Human rights are not some kind of optional extra, that you can simply ignore whenever it suits you! Nor can human rights be arrogantly dispensed with, on the grounds of narrow expediency. Talking about ‘context’ is just a cynical red herring. Human rights should not be held hostile to petty political considerations. There is simply no excuse for taking away the human rights of any person! None whatsoever! The freedom of the French is not some kind of bargaining chip; you either respect human rights or you don’t!


The leader of Cameroon, Paul Biya, has sternly warned:

Every human rights abuser thinks they are the exception, and not the rule. Well, I am afraid this simply will not do! Saddam Hussein thought the same, and look what happened to him! So also Slobodan Milosevic, and so many other brutal dictators! It is high time M. Macron was arrested and made to pay for his crimes, just like everybody else!


The President of Senegal, Macky Sall, has warned the barbaric Paris regime:

Tipping the disabled out of wheelchairs, and hauling civilian women around by the scruff of the neck has nothing to do with ‘self-defence’ or ‘security.’ Precisely who does this ignorant First World dictator think he is trying to fool? He must be surrounded by a horde of primitive, barbaric sycophants who have helped him finally lose touch with reality. Before long he will be ranting and raving about ‘spies’ and ‘infiltrators,’ and trying to purge the ranks around him. We’d better save France with the greatest possible urgency, in case he starts calling himself the last King of Senegal!


The Ivory Coast’s Minister of Foreign Affairs, Marcel Amon Tanoh, thunders forth:

We’ve had enough excuses, enough playing for time, and we’ve most certainly had enough propaganda! Macron is just stalling for time, just like every pathetic, moronic, obscurantist First World dictator! It’s not a time for talking, it’s a time for action! Human rights are for everyone: national sovereignty is not an absolute, and any government who steals the rights of the people simply has no right to exist! Macron has nothing to complain about: we will soon see what happens, when he finally learns the penalty of every human rights abuser!


Oh, and by the way…
Even Libya have got in on the game: remember these guys?!

Don’t worry, Paris: help is at hand!
Your old friends, Africa, will not forget you!
Human rights are universal!
All oppressors who deny human rights must be crushed without mercy!

Macron has yet to respond to the impending humanitarian intervention against France. Rumour has it he has descended into a drunken spiral of increasingly deranged and deluded rants, and has already started threatening everyone in his inner circle with the guillotine.


Further (not so humorous) reading about the Gilets Jaunes; as well nasty allegations of police brutality, both past and present.

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Author: Wallace Runnymede

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