Taiji, Japan – Looking to capitalize on recent international public relations success over last week’s dolphin slaughter in Taiji, Japan announced today its intention to invade and conquer the tiny pacific island nation of Palau sometime in 2014.
At a hastily organized press conference at the Taiji dolphin slaughterhouse, Japanese Assistant Director of Cultural Affairs Hideo Yakamura said “Invading and subjugating foreign countries is an historical and cultural tradition of Japan and important to the Japanese people. We intend to include all the traditional elements of a Japanese invasion including torture, rape, genocide and ethnic cleansing.”
When asked why Japan chose Palau instead of it’s more customary foes China, Russia or Korea, Yakamura chuckled “Well, that would be insane”.