Category: War Zone
Putin Invades Coney Island To Help Russians Living There
Russian President Vladimir Putin has sent Russian troops into Coney Island, a part of Brighton Beach, New York, that has a large immigrant Russian population. Swarming ashore from submarines that covertly approached the beach, they quickly took over all government…
White House Claims WMDs Found In Crimea
In a stunning announcement at Wednesday mornings press briefing, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney announced WMDs have been discovered in the Crimean peninsula. “The CIA has determined and it has been confirmed through British Intelligence that convoys of Russian…
U.S. Military Takes Back Internet After Realizing The Frankenstein Their Creation Has Become..
The U.S. Military, the true originator of the Internet, has had enough of the shenanigans it has become and is taking it [the internet] back. “It was never meant to be the big circus that it is now.” stated General…
Syrian Chemical Weapons Problem Solved Using Assad’s Own Methods
A vast problem has developed with the disposal of the chemical weapons possessed by Bashir Assad’s military in Syria. Used to cripple and decimate his own people, Assad escaped a bombing by U.S. Forces in retaliation by promising to turn…
Japan Announces Invasion of Palau
Taiji, Japan – Looking to capitalize on recent international public relations success over last week’s dolphin slaughter in Taiji, Japan announced today its intention to invade and conquer the tiny pacific island nation of Palau sometime in 2014. At a…
Taliban Successfully Destroys Afghan Society- Reverts To Cannibalism
The Taliban has successfully destroyed every business and killed every non-conforming citizen and foreigner in Afghanistan. Left without an effective economy and without anyone who understands any technology beyond that of making heroin the entire land has fallen into a…
What Is Wrong With This Picture from Afghanistan?
Since the beginning of the Afghan war, the coalition forces have been having a hard time training and getting the loyalty of the Afghan police and soldiers they were training to fight the Taliban and Al Queda. “Why?” so many…
Kenya Defence Force Admits “Minor Borrowing” During Mall Siege
NAIROBI, Kenya– After weeks of denying stealing anything from the Westgate Mall following attacks by the al-Shaaabab, the Kenya Defence Forces have finally admitted they stole bottled water from one of the supermarkets. This came on the wake of the…
Glossy Staff Admits Butt-Hurt After Reaming by NRA Riled Redneck Brigade
The staff of Glossy news is busy licking their wounds today after a fierce word-lashing by a number of drive-by commentator fan(atic)s of the NRA. While a few commenters stand out in the article, the sum of their words was…
An Open Letter to Al Queda and its Branch Affiliates
Good day, guys. How is it going? Blow up anything fun today? Shoot your quota of infidels yet? OK, sorry you’re having a bad day. Just a few questions I wanted to ask you guys. (I am assuming you are…