Category: Biz News
News: Upscale Suburban Hillbilly Sells House
“Whole thing came as a shock really” said Clyde Dreyfuss this week, standing in the front yard of his fake Victorian cottage next to the ‘Sold’ sign. Why reporters converged on the usually placid subdivision just south of Memphis, TN…
Statusbook Saves Facebookers Time by Forcing “Like” Updates
MISSOULA, MT—A new website has made it even easier for Facebook members to update their status through a rating system that allows members to test their updates before posting them. Members who are too brain dead from lurking on the…
Federal Workforce May Have Topped 3-Million, or Maybe Not
Washington DC – GlossyNews.com – According to the most recent government data available, Uncle Sam’s civilian workforce may have topped 3 million as of March 1, 2010, says spokeswoman Audrey Slaberman. “This is a truly remarkable achievement,” says Slaberman, “that…
Hooray For Me, F**k You: Filthy Rich Protest for More Wealth
NEW YORK – Jumping on the protest bandwagon, which began with a carefully orchestrated campaign of coddled working and middle class protesters in Wisconsin and elsewhere fighting to retain their grossly overpaid wages and awesome HMO benefits, the wealthy minority…
Nuke Energy Leaders Bravely Sacrifice Everything to Save Radioactive Fuel Rods
WASHINGTON DC – An emergency meeting was convened today between President Obama, top Japanese officials, members of the IAEA, General Electric CEO Jeffrey Immelt, and several nuclear industry leaders, to discuss ways to save the precious fuel rods from the…
New Obama Program Pays You to Burn Down Your House
Asheville, North Carolina (GlossyNews) — The poop on politics from Norbert B. Snortwhistle. In his latest bid to pump up the economy before the 2012 election, President Obama introduced a new program, “Bucks for Burn Downs,” that will pay financially…
Labor Unrest Hits Candy Tycoon in the Sweet Spot
Shares of Wonka Foods International, the silent parent company of both Hershey and Nestle, opened sharply lower today as disturbing news reached Wall Street. It appears anti-collective bargaining legislation recently introduced in Wisconsin has spawned a backlash that now threatens…
AT&T / T-Mobile Merger Already Faces Grassroots Opposition
With the recent announcement that despised telecom giant AT&T would be purchasing T-Mobile for $39 billion came the launch of a grassroots opposition movement dead-set against the transaction. If you have an opinion about the merger, this may be of…
How to Get AOL to Buy Your Blog for Millions
You may have heard the recent news about AOL purchasing Huffington Post for the sum of $315 million dollars. Will AOL buy your blog? Will AOL pay you a million dollars for your blog or website? Will AOL give you…
GlossyNews Swallows [Pride] and Merges with Twitter
Following a precipitous plummet in readership, the once formidable political satire site Glossynews announced today that it will be merging with Twitter to create internet’s the first 140 character satire site. Glossynews found itself in trouble shortly after insisting on…