News: Upscale Suburban Hillbilly Sells House

“Whole thing came as a shock really” said Clyde Dreyfuss this week, standing in the front yard of his fake Victorian cottage next to the ‘Sold’ sign. Why reporters converged on the usually placid subdivision just south of Memphis, TN still remains a topic of intense speculation at the local Starbucks, but they came.

Perhaps Whispering Woods resident Dr. Sri Pashavishnuama summed it up best when she said, “People have an appetite for ‘feel good’ stories. Nobody can kill Bin Laden every week, so I guess Clyde & Bonnie will have to do. So that’s why all the media coverage I suppose.”

Whatever the reason, journalism insiders predict next month’s hottest story will be whether the media ‘over-covered’ the Dreyfuss affair, and what does that say about the current state of the fourth estate? Early indicators seem to favor that prediction.

Wandering Conservative pundit Carl Tuckerson recently blogged on the Dreyfuss home sale, “Yet another transparent attempt by the lap dog media to pretend Obama’s policies are leading us out of recession. Why are there no stories about people who haven’t sold their houses yet?”

According to a post on https://www.theadvisory.co.uk/, early criticism on media coverage of the Dreyfuss home sale has been equally caustic from the Left. Professional microphone chaser Cornel West twittered yesterday, “News AWOL on racism. It’s Memphis, must B racism. No racism, no job 4 Cornel. I need my job.”

What does media coverage of the Dreyfuss affair say about the media? What should Americans think about what it says about the media, and how should the media feel about what Americans think?

To answer these important questions, Glossy News sat down for an exclusive interview with Clyde & Bonnie Dreyfuss in their tastefully decorated fake Victorian cottage.

“I’m excited about this” said Bonnie Dreyfuss, an attractive brunette. “Clyde had to tap out his 401k after the factory closed, and it’s been some tough times. But now he has that job as proof reader at a Nashville tattoo parlor and things are looking up.

“We’ve already found a darling fake Tudor cottage in Brentwood, but we didn’t expect to sell this house so quickly. It just all happened so fast; that’s the thing you can’t prepare for. The whole thing is just like a movie or something.”

On intensive questioning, Mrs. Dreyfuss pretended to have no opinion about what this important story says about the media. Bonnie feigned ignorance as to why Anderson Cooper and Geraldo Rivera are camped out in the Dreyfuss driveway.

Clyde said he didn’t know either.

Author: Liberties-Taken

I write gags for Glossy News when an idea pops into my pumpkin sized head. Don't make a big deal out of it, OK? I contribute to my local food pantry and you should too.

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