Category: Strange People
Most Idiotic Nuisance 999 Calls Revealed
A Smegmadale Jewish priest, Rabbi Sheldon Scrunt, dialled 999 when staff at Manchester Airport’s W H Smuts bookstore would not allow him to use the toilet, then subsequently shit kittens when the plods turned up and arrested him for making…
Personalised Plates Hit for Homophobia
A score of “offensive” vehicle registration plates have been withdrawn from a Smegmashire DVLA auction as they might well fall under the politically-incorrect categories of ‘homophobic’, ‘sexist’, racist’ or ‘anarchist’ and breach one or another of the new European Fascist…
Library Scissors: Weapons of Mass Distraction?
Greater London’s Scumdale Hamlets council has apologised after a student was refused the loan of a pair of scissors in a library because she ‘might stab a member of staff’. Rita McScrunt, a 15-year old mother of three, had her…
Guinness Records: Hardest, Oldest, Smallest & Tallest
And now – the latest Guinness World Records: A two-time Guinness record holder is hoping to enter the prestigious compendium yet again with a third placing by completing 100 push-ups in 60 seconds – using his penis – while viewing…
Yob Fined for Getting Cat Stoned on Ganja
A teenage yob who was filmed on a mobile phone forcing a neighbour’s terrified tomcat to inhale cannabis while captive in a clear plastic laundry bag – before swinging it round his head like a Gaucho’s bolas – was slapped…
Palin to Cook eBay Auction $63.5K Fundraiser Dinner
WASILLA, ALASKA — A woman defense contractor in Huntsville, Ala., won the “Dangerous” Dining with Sarah Palin eBay auction — her bid was $63,500. Auction details only allow the winning bidder to bring three friends to the dinner. Palin’s spokeswoman…
Innovative Indonesia: One Sharia Step Forward – Two Humane Steps Back
In an all-out attempt to catch up with the 21st Century and their high-tech’ Occidental peers, the foot-dragging Muslim community of Sumatra’s basket case Aceh province seem to be stuck in the Islamic year of 1430 and have just taken…
Knackers to Knockers: Tranny Prisoner Wins Appeal
The refusal to move a pre-operative transsexual prisoner from a men’s jail to a women’s prison is a violation of her human rights, according to a High Court judge. Deputy Judge Fellatia Faggorotti quashed Justice Secretary Jack Straw’s decision to…
Racist Row Revving Up, Four Sure to End Up on the Floor
A Smegmadale driver spent two nights in jail after being accused of the latest numpty-dumpty politically-incorrect crime of “revving his car in a racist manner”.
Dan Rather: CBS Spiked Biden “60 Minutes” Interview
Former CBS Anchor Dan Rather charged today that the network recently spiked a “60 Minutes” interview with Vice President Joe Biden under pressure from the White House. “I heard that Rahm Emanuel previewed the tape and found Biden harder to…