Category: Society
25yr Coma Man Wakes, Stunned to Learn of Black President
Ozark, Alabama – Jeff Stills was a successful crop farmer from the lower state of Alabama that was raised on a farm he would soon call his own. Unfortunately on the night of April 6th 1984 he flipped his General…
Top Ten Medical Questions of 2009
It’s that time of year again when every conceivable list known to man is counted down before the big ball drops and ushers in a new year of question making. We combed the internet for the most common questions asked…
Ass Kissing In The Workplace
This month I would like to share with you my observations about brown nosing in the office. By brown nosing, I mean ass kissing. The reason that I state that these are my observations is to be clear that this…
Ask Hank: Advice on Golf Masters, Mistresses and Bawdy Birdies
Dear Hank, My wife recently found out that I’ve been seeing some other women and now it seems like I’m in all kinds of trouble. She knew when we met that I was a swinger but now she’s pretending like…
City Sued For Providing Free Drugs To Residents
Philadelphia, PA – Recently the Associated Press disclosed that the Environmental Protection Agency plans on collecting 1 million pills during an Earth Day initiative aimed at the people who live around the Great Lakes. They also stated that there is…
Was Jesus a British Citizen?
If one is to believe the latest Gospel being proclaimed from on high by Scottish academic and archaeologist Reverend ‘Gorbals Jack’ McTwattie, Jesus Christ came to Britain to further his education and help out his old pikey Uncle – Joseph…
Oral Roberts Moves to Heaven in 3-Way Yankees/Phillies Trade
Tulsa — Granville Oral Roberts was traded to heaven in a reported three-way deal with the New York Yankees and the Philadelphia Phillies, one of whom reportedly stated after the World Series, “I’d sell my soul to play for the…
Big Brother Targets Kindergarten Radicals
The UK’s Big Brother think tanks at Chatham House and the Tavistock Institute have now – in their superior wisdom – ordained nursery-age children should be monitored for signs of Pavlovian brainwashing by Islamist extremists – according to a leaked…
Woman Blames Glenn Beck Show for Aging Prematurely
Shelley Saround began noticing her hair going gray about a year ago at the age of 23. In just a few short months, she went from having a head of luxurious dark brown hair to looking like Grandmama on the…
Crematorium Imposes Fatties Ban
The relatives of a 40-stone (254 kg) man from Scumerset informed a reporter for the Mass Graves Gazette that the undertaker had advised them the deceased’s body was too heavy for cremation. Frank McGrunt, a 95-year old former meat pie…