Category: Society
Unemployed Veteran Forgets Mother’s Birthday
BUFFALO, New York (GlossyNews) — In what Tri-State area Tea Party leaders are calling further evidence of our culture’s collapse, 38-year-old Lance Kilbane, an unemployed welder, has forgotten to honor his mother on her birthday. Speaking to reporters while completing…
Helen Thomas Forced to Wear Scarlet Letter and Apologize
WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — Cantankerous malcontent and ex-reporter Helen Thomas, who recently had an unfortunate run-in with the Jewish-owned American media when she accidentally reminded everyone that Palestine is an occupied territory, is the latest celebrity forced to wear the…
Dutch Guy Murderer? Well, Duh…
Lima, Peru (GlossyNewsSA) — Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. Slime weasel Joran van der Sloot has been handed over to Peruvian authorities, because he finally killed a chica where there wasn’t no deep water around….
Country Kills Thousands to Steal Oil then Chokes on its Own
Norfolk, VA (GlossyNews) — FUTURE NEWS – Legend has it that a country called the United States, once described as a modern day Atlantis, was just wrapping up an horrific incident where it killed hundreds of thousands of innocent people…
Christian Group to Boycott Deviled Eggs
Sao Paulo, Brasil (GlossyNewsSA) Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. Patrons at “Betty’s Eat-n-Greet” in Bon Temps, Louisiana voiced mixed reactions today on learning controversial religious leader Fred Phelps is at it again in their neighborhood….
Guinness’ Curse? ‘World’s Oldest Person’ Keeps Dying
Holders of the Guinness Book of World Records title as the worlds oldest person are dying off at an alarming rate with no one olding the title for longer than 15 months before inexplicably losing their lives.
DUI Laws Lead to Unfair Profiling of Drunks
San Francisco, CA (GlossyNews) — Piggybacking on the protests over Arizona’s new immigration law that demands proof of citizenship from people dressed in pointy cowboy boots, polyester shirts, tattered sombreros and riding old girl’s bikes, an army of drunken drivers…
Woman Sues Google After Attempting to Cross Street
Reno, NV (GlossyNews) — A Reno NV woman became the second person to sue Google because of an issue with Google Maps. Similar to an earlier action in Park City, UT, the woman, Eustancia Dumas is suing Google for poor…
Really Big Important News Story
Santiago, Chile (GlossyNews) — Posted by your new South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. In a Glossy News exclusive, Maria Lopez has learned there is a crazy conspiracy where Brazil, Turkey and Iran all want to get nuclear weapons….
Tax Refunds Revealed as Giant Ponzi Scheme
Washington, DC (GlossyNews) — Investigators have uncovered a multi-trillion dollar financial fraud so massive and widespread it has victimized nearly every household in America for decades. According to investigators the so-called “Tax Refund Pyramid” employs many of the same techniques…