Category: Society
Cruise Lines End Affirmative Action
In the wake of several recent misadventures, it was announced today all major cruise lines will end their affirmative action programs, effective immediately. Leisure industry analysts say some response was expected, but the move may be too late to reduce…
Tweezers and Magnified Mirrors Selling Fast as Depilatory Cream Ban Hits America
A ban on all depilatory creams in America has aging women scrambling to find alternatives for getting rid of unsightly hair on their chins and necks. Pharmacies are finding it hard to keep tweezers and magnified mirrors in stock. “It’s…
Fossils Fuel Heated Debate Between US Ski Resorts
California’s Mammoth Mountain has long been regarded as superior to Colorado’s Snowmass ski resort. Smug shrugs turned to doubtful whispers this week on news Snowmass now has a huge ‘but’ to add to the friendly rivalry. Snowmass has a REAL…
Man Murdered at Mime Convention for Coughing, Suspect at Large
LOS ANGELES, California – A police manhunt is underway in Los Angeles after a man was fatally shot during the 29th annual Mime Convention in the city convention center. Reports say that the shooting happened during the Convention’s final performance,…
News of Cheap, Effective Contraceptive has Women Applauding Santorum Supporter
The news out of Michigan this morning is that not all women in America are angry at Santorum financial backer, Foster Friess for stating that a safe and effective form of birth control for women is a simple aspirin placed…
Study says a dark day in America – Blacks are getting happier
BLACKSBURG, VA – A newly released study reveals potentially upsetting news for millions of white Americans. According to the longitudinal study, the conclusions are shocking: Black Americans are getting happier – much happier. The study by the University of Pennsylvania,…
Ringling Brothers Circus Sues Republicans And Democrats Over Rights ToThe Title “Greatest Circus On Earth”.
Ringling Brothers Circus is suing both the Republican and Democratic Parties for infringements on the copyright claim of running ‘The Biggest Circus In The World’. The Ringling Brothers, for a century the largest traveling circus on the circuit, is now…
Prisons Change to Blue Flannel Jumpsuits; Shankings Down
Lee Henry Morgan, Warden at California’s San Quentin Prison is breathing a sigh of relief these days as the number of shankings in this infamously dangerous prison have decreased greatly over the past several months. “I wouldn’t have believed it…
Residents of Heaven Complain about Lack of Freedom
Residents of a community somewhere in southern California are coming forward with serious allegations of discrimination, forced behavior, and restrictions on personal freedom. Compared by its residents to ‘prison’ the community apparently forces them to wear white robes at all…
Local Man Masters Art of Making Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich
The peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It’s the staple of grade school students. The standby for financially-strapped college students. The sign that a husband has done something wrong when he opens the brown-bagged lunch his wife made him that morning….