Category: Kidz Zone

Two Smegmadale Police Community Support Officers are under investigation after they allegedly stopped and searched a six-year-old Pakistani Muslim girl using their unconstitutional anti-terrorism powers as an excuse for harassing behaviour that stinks of racism.

Thousands of untrained staff – including night club bouncers, postmen, driving instructors and even binmen – are being used as “cheap labour” to cover for absent teachers according to a report leaked by disaffected snitches at the Ministry of Education.

It was the strangest thing. We were having a runaway, rampant day out, doing our darnedest to span the landscape of the Puerto Rican interestosphere, regardless of the locals’ patent refusals to engage us in our media-istic capacities. It was…

President Barack Obama has delivered a junior State of the Nation speech to American schoolchildren, broadcast live to classrooms across the entire good ole US of A – from kindergarten age to upper high school grades.

Reporters from the Daily Shitraker have uncovered a secret plan formulated by Sir Erwin Bogbrush – New Labour’s Minister for Orwellian Studies – to send overweight children on a draconian NHS enforced slimming regime.

We all have our jobs to do around the Perplexing Times offices, and we all do them, time permitting, to the best of our ability. Well, maybe not the best of our abilities, but certainly to the best of our…

Alfie McScrunt, the boy who was reported to have fathered a child when he was 12 years old, is not the baby’s father, DNA tests have shown. Alfie, now 13, of Smegmadale’s Sink or Swim Housing Estate, told the ‘underage…

Taking up the difficult charge requested of the nation’s newest president, fathers around the country have stepped up to make difficult choices and keep hope alive in the next generation. Many are doing this by emulating the exact behavior of…

First we had to deal with the Diaper Industrial Complex, then the Hardline Pro-Potty Training Movement. Now I have to deal with the Muppet Agenda and the influence it has on people around me. It’s bad enough they teach kids that…

LOS ANGELES – More parents are taking the time to monitor the pornography their children view on the internet, according to the second annual Walt Disney Co. study on the subject. Disney reports that 71% of the 774 parents surveyed…