Category: Human Interest
American Babies Now ‘Made in China’
Nowadays, Americans would be hard-pressed to find an item for sale that doesn’t have the ‘Made in China’ stamp on it. Go to any box store and chances are whatever you are buying was either manufactured, processed, assembled, or designed…
Homophobic Man Struggles with his Fear
Dateline: New York—Morris Jenkins suffers from a debilitating fear of homosexuals, commonly called homophobia. When in the presence of gay people, he ceases to function. “I remember the first time the terror struck me,” he said. “I was at work…
Comatose Broncos Fan Awakens to Horrible Reality
A Denver Broncos fan who has been in a coma since 5 minutes into the Superbowl has finally awakened and close friends are unsure how to tell him what happened. According to witnesses, Tindell Higby III, a University of Colorado…
Mysterious Oracle Appears in Sedona; Predicts Ugly Future for Wealthiest
Now may not be the best time to win the Mega Lottery or come into an inheritance from your wealthy relatives, according to a new young Oracle who has mysteriously appeared in Sedona, Arizona, and has begun predicting the future….
Billionaire Tom Perkins says “Poor Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Vote”
In a stunning turnaround, billionaire and silicon valley legend Tom Perkins who earlier this month compared the plight of the rich to nazi holocaust victims, stated that the poor should not be allowed to vote at all. “They’re dirty, they’re…
Man Sues Porn Industry for Making Sex Boring
Dateline: LOS ANGELES–Eduard Garbanzo, a plumber and avid consumer of internet pornography, is suing several top producers of porn for having made sex commonplace and boring. “There’s too much nudity on the internet,” he protests. “They’ve saturated the market, those…
90 Year Old On Deathbed Comforted By Family Repeatedly Pointing Out How Old He Is
FT. LAUDERDALE, FLA — 90-year-old Elmer Durzylwood was reportedly at peace in his final hours late last night after his family had spent the entire day repeatedly telling him that he is very old, sources report.
Cute Baby Rolls Over, Facebook Servers Crash
A SOCIAL media site descended into chaos last night following the news that a four-month-old baby had hit a milestone. According to reports, baby Molly, rolled on to her stomach to the delight of her proud mother, Bev Herman, who…
Beautiful Netizen People Burn Butterfly Collector At The Stake
A woman butterfly collector who had the arrogance to write an article describing her honest if not sophomoric and misunderstood anxiety over seeing a chubby black woman at her yoga class has been hunted down, bound, blindfolded and burned at…
Major Paint Company Admits ‘Faux Touches’ Ploy to Sell Paint
Today, a major paint company admitted to tricking its customers into buying paint they didn’t need by introducing new painting techniques to ‘jazz up’ their living spaces, and then forcing them to buy more paint to cover up the hideous…