Category: Human Interest
Jesus Deplores Decline in his Social Mobility (2/2)
Last time: Still, I thought things might pick up a bit when I scouted a better deal at the Baha’is and the Ahmadis. Unfortunately, however, thing didn’t get that much better. I mean, it was an improvement to some degree,…
Jesus Deplores Decline in his Social Mobility (1/2)
Jesus thinks his career has been on the slide for millennia (if not for eternity), and he’s just sick of it. You know, I was once at the absolute top of the pile in the job market. Full-time Son of…
LBJ’s Human Rights Lecture to Glossy News Readers
Hey, everybody! It’s yer best buddy Jumbo Johnson here! Everybody loves a bit of good old NON-GOVERNMENTAL Human Rights Organization shit, huh? That’s right, bitches! Time for one damn fine bit of unpatriotic pinko analysis of the notable patriotic human…
Same Sex Jail Romance Leads to Kentucky Clerk’s Change of Heart
Kentucky Clerk Kim Davis, who refused to issue gay marriage licenses and was taken into federal custody for contempt of court, has posted bond and been released after having a change of heart in jail. After experiencing what she called…
Jeb Bush Blunder on Immigration and Reconciliation
Jeb Bush’s attempts to speak up louder than those who to some limited extent do have a voice (regarding immigration) have suffered a serious blow. At a recent dialogue conference about how to make the GOP more inclusive, an immigration…
NASA Pluto Probe Discovers Oddly Familiar Tabloid
Andromeda President: I don’t mind a few Milky Way types coming here the odd time, within reason, but they should bloody well accept the way we do things here!!! Tearful Plutonian claims: My grandchildren are afraid of Neptunians who speak…
Jehovah Flip-Flops on Smiting Blood Transfusion Patients (3/3)
Here are the rest of the commandments the Watchtower is graciously bestowing on the followers of Jehovah… In order to facilitate any relatively ethical, accountable and non-abusive uses of the generally satanic and perniciously demonic spiritual technology known as “blood…
Hey, Grab Them Cuban Guys: I Need My Car Fixed
Now that Cuba and the United States are starting to talk to each other again, this could be the start of a beautiful relationship Humphrey Bogart- Claude Rains style. We got the money, they got the raw talent. I’m talking…
Jehovah Flip-Flops on Smiting Blood Transfusion Patients (2/3)
Last time: OOF! Well, that was a nice Godly-Gish-sermon to tire you out. Now that you’re on the ropes, I’ll rush through the more embarrassing bit. But what could it possibly be? (Psst! Cryptic and mysteriously recondite hint… READ THE…
Jehovah Flip-Flops on Smiting Blood Transfusion Patients (1/3)
Well, it only took me a day to beat The Respect Police! 😛 And to publish my astonishing revelation of the boundless grace, mercy and abhorrently irrational bullshit… That Lord Jehovah (of Watchtower celebrity fame and stardom) dispenses to his…