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Glossy News Revamp!

Glossy News Revamp!

Glossy News is heading towards a HUGE strategization drive! The first thing you may notice is that some of the pages at the top of the site have been removed. The site will still keep its general integrity and flavor. But any less pertinent or up to date material is being replaced with new stuff.

We really hope you will join our effots to improve this very, VERY long-running fake news and satire site! Please send any written, audio, graphic or video material to wallacerunnymede@gmail.com. If you are interested in helping us with graphics, with social media promotion, or just want to arrange a link swap or republication, or anything else you can possibly imagine, please get in touch. We’re really looking forward to expanding and making an even bigger impact and footprint upon the satire world.

In the meantime, as previously mentioned, please check out our FB page:

https://www.facebook.com/Glossy-News-821363081296896/?fref=ts

We’re looking forward to a great new year of satire. This is going to be BIG! Make sure you don’t miss out.

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Posted in Entertainment, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Please Remember to ‘Like’ Our Facebook Page! Also, an Announcement

Please Remember to ‘Like’ Our Facebook Page! Also, an Announcement

Please don’t forget about the Glossy News Facebook Page! You can keep up to date with all our material here.

Here’s the link:

https://www.facebook.com/Glossy-News-821363081296896/?fref=ts Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Hey Hey Donald Hey! (With Apologies to Bill Frederick’s: Hey Hey LBJ!)

Hey Hey Donald Hey! (With Apologies to Bill Frederick’s: Hey Hey LBJ!)

Hey Hey Donald Hey,
How many casinos did you lose today?
Gonna file for bankruptcy and lose your dollars now, oh, boy!
Donald Trump has eager hands to grab another bargain,
She runs off and tells the mob that Donald Trump is lying!
Hey Hey Donald Hey,
How many women did you lose today?
Gonna be a felon now and go to prison now, oh, boy!

Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Music, Top Stories0 Comments

New Occasional Series: Glossy News Classics!

New Occasional Series: Glossy News Classics!

As one of the very longest running fake news satire outlets of all time, Glossy News has had a lot of classics over the years. From time to time, we will be republishing stories that really stood out.

Clever? Ingenious? Edgy? Buffoonish? Anarchic? Slick, sophisticated, cool? Just good-old-fashioned hilariously convincing?

Or even unconvincing?

By whatever criteria, these are stories that stood out for us, and really shone.

Keep a close eye out for each instalment!

Wallace

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Posted in Entertainment, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Dan Geddes Video Selection (2/2)

Dan Geddes Video Selection (2/2)

Here’s part two!

American Sniper

American Sniper, Bush vs. Clinton, Scooters in Amsterdam.

Standup – The Five Stages of NSA Surveillance Grief

Facebook, NSA.

Facebook Funeral

American accents, Facebook funerals, and how no one thinks they are going to die.

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Posted in Entertainment, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Dan Geddes Video Selection (1/2)

Dan Geddes Video Selection (1/2)

Dan Geddes is a true stalwart not only of Glossy News, but of humor and satire in general. He has done a lot of stand-up comedy, which you can find on his Youtube channel. I’m sure you’re not gonna die of surprise when I tell you that like every single other humorist in the history of satire, without exception, Dan is rather shy and reserved, and never likes to be the first person in the room to break an uncomfortable silence. Even so, I hope he’ll forgive me for introducing these videos to you!

Taxes and Death (And Taxes)

Taxes and death, and the taxation of the cryogenically preserved, as well as robots.

Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Internets Tubes0 Comments

One Act Tumblr Play: Obama Gets Friendzoned!

One Act Tumblr Play: Obama Gets Friendzoned!

It’s always fun to write a One Act Tumblr Play; that particular social media site is perfect for this kind of writing! Here’s one of mine:

Obama: Hey, I really like that country, but I’m not gonna do the running. Let her come to me first.

Heh heh… I’m just such a smart guy! I am just one DAMN SMART COOKIE! Well, it’s not up to me to chase her. I’m gonna let her see how much she needs me first.

WAITS

WAITS

WAITS

WAITS

[Tittering and snickering in the background]

Obama: … Oh. Shit. Well. What a prissy, stuck-up bitch! Guess she just doesn’t know what she’s missing.

Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, World News0 Comments

The Peace Criminals Manifesto

The Peace Criminals Manifesto

The Peace Criminals Project is run by Wallace Runnymede and Appleseed Ike. But we are always looking for new writers to contribute!

In the UK, USA, and many other countries that are subservient to the neoconservative/liberal interventionist consensus, every citizen is a bare object.

A nondescript lump of raw material for voyeuristic inspection and ‘surveillance’ by the ‘Authorities.’

But the old Platonic question may be asked, may it not?…

Who will survey the surveyors?

The anarchists of Big Data, like the bloody-robed tyrant of Shelley’s poem, and of whom Slavoj Zizek speaks so evocatively are God, and King, and Law! Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, War Zone0 Comments

An Ode to the Daily Mash

An Ode to the Daily Mash

Some people have claimed that the reason cults find it so difficult to get a grip in Britain is because we do not take anything seriously. Any topic, no matter how serious, is turned into a sarcastic joke. For example, here are some people mocking the deaths of tens of millions of people:

Blackadder_Goes_Forth

I am not suggesting this is in any way a bad thing. It is a very positive force that sheds light on serious issues, as well as being side-splittingly funny.

Similarly, any public house on a weekend will be full of people exchanging jokes about Madeleine McCann, Jimmy Savile and the Irish potato famine. The best ones get them all into the same joke. Americans may have to wait decades for a topic to become funny, but if you are British, I bet the first Michael Jackson joke arrived in your inbox before his body was even cold.

When I was a growing up, I used to read The Onion. You could even get the print version in my local Borders (remember Borders? Back in’t day…). Some of their stories were hit, others were miss. Their headline Microsoft Patents Ones, Zeroes still makes me chuckle.

It still is funny, and usually worth a read.

However, its power simply cannot match that of The Daily Mash. I started reading Mash while I was still working at Buzz, which must have been two or three ago now. That is a long time to be consistently funny. But they manage it. If anything, they are getting funnier.

Far from knocking out a few good headlines a week, The Daily Mash produces five brilliant headlines a day. I despair working out what I should retweet and what I should post on Facebook, because everything is worthy of it. Even its least amusing headline is generally far more worthy of such attention that the current bollocks being put out by BuzzFeed.

Of course satire has long been a British art form. Spitting Image, Private Eye, Monster Raving Loony Party, Mock The Week, Brass Eye and Boris Johnson represent just a tiny handful examples that I could pick out from an ocean of possibilities. John Oliver is currently turning into a US export. Nor is Mash the only people in the game: NewsThumb, NewsBiscuit and others produce excellent headlines as well.

But few have refined the art as well as The Daily Mash. For their contribution, I am grateful.

http://blog.chrisworfolk.com/2014/06/30/an-ode-to-the-daily-mash/

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Posted in Entertainment, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Idiot’s Guide to Disconnecting from AOL (This Article is for You!)

Idiot’s Guide to Disconnecting from AOL (This Article is for You!)

If you are looking to disconnect your AOL service, we will be more than happy to help you. Before you disconnect your service, however, we would like you to try just a few of the following troubleshot tips to see if we can correct your problems.

Please remember you can also use our help pages at any time.

Have you tried disconnecting your computer? Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Science & Technologizzy0 Comments

AOL Deletes GlossyNews.com

AOL Deletes GlossyNews.com

Following several minutes of quasi-careful consideration, AOL/Time-Warner has bowed to the pressures of several of it’s members, and gleefully, obligingly deleted the inflamatory news website, GlossyNews.com. AOL has had no option, but to comply with the requests of its members.

Complaints rained in from one-year members including axmangladbag68 and happyprincess2004, as well as two to four year members such as colournotcolor and idigbender19. AOL regrets the need to take such dramatic action, but based on the baseless actions of the otherwise reputable, three-year publication (Ed. note: out of date info, who cares?), the decision was swift, no matter how regrettable it may be. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Science & Technologizzy, Top Stories0 Comments

Funny Website Corner: ‘AOL Help’ Parody

Funny Website Corner: ‘AOL Help’ Parody

Tomorrow and the day after, we will be including two funny pieces from Brian’s parody site on AOL.

First of all (16 September) we find out that AOL have decided to take some very, very extreme measures against a certain ‘widely regarded’ satirical and fake news outlet.

Secondly (17 September) we find out what you need to do when AOL is just not going so well for you.

Keep reading!

Wallace

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Science & Technologizzy0 Comments

Blair Giving His Chilcot Excuses: Must-Watch Leaked Video!

Blair Giving His Chilcot Excuses: Must-Watch Leaked Video!

As ‘We’ all know and agree, Tony Blair is a strong leader in a tight spot, who just did what he had to do!

But what are his top 30 rationalizations for the Iraq war?

And more pertinently still…

Can ‘We’ ever get him to just stop at 30?!

Enjoy this video of phony Tony floundering and squirming. (A little bit twitchy and hurriedly-flustered in tone, surprisingly enough!) Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, World News0 Comments

Infiltrator Song (BNP Bugger Up Blues)

Infiltrator Song (BNP Bugger Up Blues)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9FtrxKQNA0

I ‘ave a well good country
That there’s us England lad, y’know
It were a proper well good country
Till ’em ‘as changed it, long ago Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Internets Tubes0 Comments

9/11 Problems (Video & Lyrics Together!)

9/11 Problems (Video & Lyrics Together!)

If you’re having Bush problems I feel bad for you son

I got 9/11 problems but a Clinton ain’t one!

Bush dirty rat drop bombs on Iraqi foes

Kill a million US soldiers cause he’s the boss ya know Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Music0 Comments

Youtube Gets Snarky with More Videos: ‘Sorry if You Were Offended!’ Plus Ebook Update… (2/2)

Youtube Gets Snarky with More Videos: ‘Sorry if You Were Offended!’ Plus Ebook Update… (2/2)

Finally, two more videos (unless you’ve already checked them out. If not, why not?!)

5. Newt Gingrich Makes Cute-Ass Comeback as Cuddly Economy-Saver ^______6 Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Podcasts, Top Stories0 Comments

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