Archive | Internets Tubes

Fake Memes for Fake People: (1/3)

Whatever happens, Ensuite Johnny gonna Ensuite! Lookin’ pretty chill there, bro!

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Dave on his best behaviour for the New Year? Pigs will fly! 😉

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There are those who demonize and stereotype autistic folks. But then, there are also those self-diagnosed autistic justice warriors who try to gild us.

Hardly much of an improvement, is it?

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STOP HATE SPEECH AGAINST CORPORATIONS

THEY ARE PEOPLE TOO, AND THEY HAVE FEELINGS!

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Psst! Two more instalments coming up tomorrow!
If you have some memes you made and want to share with us, email wallacerunnymede@gmail.com.
We’ll make sure to put ’em up there!
Wallace

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Posted in Entertainment, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Donald Trump Proves Existence of the Multiverse

Donald Trump Proves Existence of the Multiverse

In a groundbreaking pronouncement, the International Forum of Theoretical Physicists today stated that Donald Trump’s election confirmed the existence of the multiverse.

At a press conference held at the National Academy of Sciences, Belinda Suarez, IFTP’s executive director, declared that our plane of existence is only one of an infinite number of universes with distinct histories, thereby putting an end to decades of debate in the scientific community.

When pressed about the connection between Trump and the multiverse, Suarez stated that the U.S. presidential election results struck the scientific community as such an astronomically improbable event that they inspired some of the world’s leading mathematicians and physicists to calculate their likelihood.

Given Trump’s flagrant contempt for women, blacks, Hispanics, the LGBTQ community, Muslims, immigrants, disabled persons, war heroes, and basic human decency, the scientists discovered that the odds of his election were so prodigiously minute that they proved we reside in the only universe in the infinite multiverse where this could have possibly taken place.

Suarez stated that, “When scientists previously theorized about the multiverse, they postulated that anything that could possibly happen actually did, only in an alternate timeline. In other words, there’s a universe where Germany won the Second World War, another where Kim Kardashian is Pope, and a third where people eat nothing but asparagus. In some universes, humans have arms growing out of their foreheads or tank treads instead of feet. Literally every possible scenario exists in a reality separate from our own. It therefore struck us that, somewhere in some other universes, scientists were discussing the preposterous assertion that the United States would elect Donald Trump president. It turns out we were right. And they laughed at us.”

When pressed about who exactly “laughed at us,” Suarez replied with, “We built a machine to communicate with the other universes, and most of them laughed at us. We also received quite a few condolences. Pope Kim the First wrote us a very heartfelt epistle. The asparagus universe’s scientists are working on a device to ship us a bouquet of conciliatory… well… asparagus. We tried to dissuade them, but they insisted.”

Apparently, several universes remarked on our terrible situation, including one where people eat their own feces for breakfast, another where giant praying mantises evolved to become our autocratic masters, and a third where the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse hold sway over a shattered hellscape. They all thanked their respective gods/demons/insect overlords that they did not reside in our reality.

Asked if any universes expressed joy at Trump’s election, Suarez paused and responded “Well, the universe where Donald Trump is Emperor of the Moon thought it was pretty great.”

Suarez concluded her briefing by addressing how the scientific community planned to utilize this amazing discovery. “We’re working on a machine to transport us into literally any other universe. I personally want to get the hell out of here, and I’m sure many of you feel the same.”

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Politics, Science2 Comments

How Bridges Are Really Made

How Bridges Are Really Made

Bridges

Bridges span everything from troubled waters to Terabithia, and are a major important, but how they really made?

WHERE DO BRIDGE?
First, political leaders identify a place where bridges done need to be made.
They do this by looking where folks go and how much water or revines there do is.
From there, they identify the shortest point from A to B where they should bridge. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Podcasts, Top Stories0 Comments

Glossy News Classics: The Series Continues. But Will You One Day Make It?

Glossy News Classics: The Series Continues. But Will You One Day Make It?

Regular readers will be aware that we recently launched the Glossy News Classics series.

Choice cuts and prime pickings from the vast, VAST back catalog of the second longest-running fake news humor site! Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump (3/3)

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump (3/3)

https://twitter.com/RealPeteGabriel/status/715963479623147520 Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Music0 Comments

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump (2/3)

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump (2/3)

https://twitter.com/RealPeteGabriel/status/715960731255091201 Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Music0 Comments

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump (1/3)

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump (1/3)

https://twitter.com/RealPeteGabriel/status/715959324208676864 Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Music0 Comments

Hot Out of the Oven – New Donald Trump Memes

Donald Trump Memes Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, World News0 Comments

Introducing Brian’s ‘How It’s Made’ Funny Dub Series

Introducing Brian’s ‘How It’s Made’ Funny Dub Series

Tomorrow, we’re going to see TWO funny new ‘How It’s Made’ videos from Glossy News webmaster Brian K. White.

This is Brian’s Youtube channel:

https://www.youtube.com/user/10kzebra Continue Reading

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The Road Ahead. Glossy News on the Up: Let’s All be Part of the Journey (2/2)

The Road Ahead. Glossy News on the Up: Let’s All be Part of the Journey (2/2)

So, here’s a selection of what we can offer readers and writers in 2017:

 

Substantially greater output…

 

While still maintaining good quality!

 

That’s not as hard as it sounds, although it does require substantial diligence and dedication.

We have a great circle of writers: some new, some old. Some yet to come! Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Internets Tubes0 Comments

The Road Ahead. Glossy News on the Up: Let’s All be Part of the Journey (1/2)

The Road Ahead. Glossy News on the Up: Let’s All be Part of the Journey (1/2)

Glossy News was founded by online satire pioneer Brian K. White. Aside from writing many, many articles, and running various sites, Brian also has his own Glossy News 4K Podcast, On Youtube.

But we have had so many great writers. I myself joined Glossy News a while back, and worked  my way up. I am soon launching a channel of my own: Runnymede Video Bomb!

This is in construction, but make sure to follow it! (I already have a small number of videos on it). January will include some old classics (such as ‘9/11 Problems Jay-Z Parody’ and ‘Wall Street Interview,’) as well as some never-before-seen treasures!

Anyway: I’ve been editor for a while, and I’ve helping Brian to seek out and cultivate great new talent for our site. Whether it’s fake news satire (good old classical humor, not malicious hoaxes!); or parodies of movies, poems, novels, songs, whatever; or even some thought-provoking news commentary, whether solemnly sober, pleasantly amusing or even flat out hilarious…

Glossy News is where you want to be!

We have some big plans for the year ahead. But what does this really mean? Find out in five minutes, in instalment two of this achingly classy ‘Alternative (Humor) New Year’s Message!’

Wallace

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Psst…

Remember to save the bookmark! And we will have a great new battery of sharing icons too… very, very soon!

www.glossynews.com

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Some of Our Contributors have Youtube Channels

Some of Our Contributors have Youtube Channels

Note from Wallace:

These are just some of the Youtube channels of our contributors! Please feel free to comment below if you have more suggestions for funny of thought-provoking channels! We can make another article later on…

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Posted in Entertainment, Internets Tubes, Top Stories0 Comments

Slavoj Zizek Joins the Pervert Cinema on Youtube

Slavoj Zizek Joins the Pervert Cinema on Youtube

Not everyone knows who Slavoj Zizek is…

But there are those who do!

It’s great to see this parody artist doing an INCREDIBLY convincing parody of Zizek’s mannerism and common phrases. Not sure whether how far the lyrical content can be considered direct quotes or even paraphrases of Zizek’s work? Some of sounds like it’s for real. Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Internets Tubes0 Comments

The Internet is Obsessing over the Trailer for Madonna’s Carpool Karaoke

The Internet is Obsessing over the Trailer for Madonna’s Carpool Karaoke

Madonna may be pushing 60 years old, but that hasn’t stopped her showing yet again that she really can make a splash in the headlines!

The American singer-songwriter is probably best known for the way she’s managed to reinvent herself over the past 30 years of her career and her latest publicity drive is definitely no exception.

Madonna’s Carpool Karaoke Trailer goes Viral

Madonna is appearing on Wednesday night TV’s The Late Late Show, presented by Gavin and Stacey star James Corden, doing a rather impressive Carpool Karaoke segment, and the teaser has sent tongues wagging for all the right (and wrong!) reasons. At the time of writing, it’s #16 on the list of Trending YouTube videos. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes0 Comments

Imperialist Aliens Should Check Their Privilege

It seems privileged metropolitan latte-sipping aliens have a problem with the equally privileged double standards of mundane down-to-earth Earthling types. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Glossy News Revamp

Glossy News Revamp

Glossy News is heading towards a HUGE strategization drive! The first thing you may notice is that some of the pages at the top of the site have been removed. The site will still keep its general integrity and flavor. But any less pertinent or up to date material is being replaced with new stuff.

We really hope you will join our effots to improve this very, VERY long-running fake news and satire site! Please send any written, audio, graphic or video material to wallacerunnymede@gmail.com. If you are interested in helping us with graphics, with social media promotion, or just want to arrange a link swap or republication, or anything else you can possibly imagine, please get in touch. We’re really looking forward to expanding and making an even bigger impact and footprint upon the satire world.

In the meantime, as previously mentioned, please check out our FB page:

https://www.facebook.com/Glossy-News-821363081296896/?fref=ts

We’re looking forward to a great new year of satire. This is going to be BIG! Make sure you don’t miss out.

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Posted in Entertainment, Internets Tubes0 Comments

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