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Fake Memes for Fake People! (2/3)

WTF? Did Orwell actually say this?

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Citrus surprise looking a little bitter

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Fake tan, fake opinions, fake Trump card

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Fake-o liberals and conservatives in Germany think book burning is more effective than winning the argument against fascism

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Posted in Entertainment, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Fake Memes for Fake People! (1/3)

Whatever happens, Ensuite Johnny gonna Ensuite! Lookin’ pretty chill there, bro!

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Dave on his best behaviour for the New Year? Pigs will fly! 😉

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There are those who demonize and stereotype autistic folks. But then, there are also those self-diagnosed autistic justice warriors who try to gild us.

Hardly much of an improvement, is it?

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STOP HATE SPEECH AGAINST CORPORATIONS

THEY ARE PEOPLE TOO, AND THEY HAVE FEELINGS!

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***

Psst! Two more instalments coming up tomorrow!
If you have some memes you made and want to share with us, email wallacerunnymede@gmail.com.
We’ll make sure to put ’em up there!
Wallace

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NEWSFLASH: Republican Party Flip-Flop, Embrace ‘Sodomy’

NEWSFLASH: Republican Party Flip-Flop, Embrace ‘Sodomy’

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Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.

Ezekiel 16: 49

It’s just horrifying to hear the Republican Party have finally backslidden, and embraced the evil sin of Sodom!

May this needy God of theirs have mercy on their souls.

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Politics, Religionism0 Comments

Donald Trump Proves Existence of the Multiverse

Donald Trump Proves Existence of the Multiverse

In a groundbreaking pronouncement, the International Forum of Theoretical Physicists today stated that Donald Trump’s election confirmed the existence of the multiverse.

At a press conference held at the National Academy of Sciences, Belinda Suarez, IFTP’s executive director, declared that our plane of existence is only one of an infinite number of universes with distinct histories, thereby putting an end to decades of debate in the scientific community.

When pressed about the connection between Trump and the multiverse, Suarez stated that the U.S. presidential election results struck the scientific community as such an astronomically improbable event that they inspired some of the world’s leading mathematicians and physicists to calculate their likelihood.

Given Trump’s flagrant contempt for women, blacks, Hispanics, the LGBTQ community, Muslims, immigrants, disabled persons, war heroes, and basic human decency, the scientists discovered that the odds of his election were so prodigiously minute that they proved we reside in the only universe in the infinite multiverse where this could have possibly taken place.

Suarez stated that, “When scientists previously theorized about the multiverse, they postulated that anything that could possibly happen actually did, only in an alternate timeline. In other words, there’s a universe where Germany won the Second World War, another where Kim Kardashian is Pope, and a third where people eat nothing but asparagus. In some universes, humans have arms growing out of their foreheads or tank treads instead of feet. Literally every possible scenario exists in a reality separate from our own. It therefore struck us that, somewhere in some other universes, scientists were discussing the preposterous assertion that the United States would elect Donald Trump president. It turns out we were right. And they laughed at us.”

When pressed about who exactly “laughed at us,” Suarez replied with, “We built a machine to communicate with the other universes, and most of them laughed at us. We also received quite a few condolences. Pope Kim the First wrote us a very heartfelt epistle. The asparagus universe’s scientists are working on a device to ship us a bouquet of conciliatory… well… asparagus. We tried to dissuade them, but they insisted.”

Apparently, several universes remarked on our terrible situation, including one where people eat their own feces for breakfast, another where giant praying mantises evolved to become our autocratic masters, and a third where the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse hold sway over a shattered hellscape. They all thanked their respective gods/demons/insect overlords that they did not reside in our reality.

Asked if any universes expressed joy at Trump’s election, Suarez paused and responded “Well, the universe where Donald Trump is Emperor of the Moon thought it was pretty great.”

Suarez concluded her briefing by addressing how the scientific community planned to utilize this amazing discovery. “We’re working on a machine to transport us into literally any other universe. I personally want to get the hell out of here, and I’m sure many of you feel the same.”

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Politics, Science2 Comments

How Bridges Are Really Made!

How Bridges Are Really Made!

Bridges

Bridges span everything from troubled waters to Terabithia, and are a major important, but how they really made?

WHERE DO BRIDGE?
First, political leaders identify a place where bridges done need to be made.
They do this by looking where folks go and how much water or revines there do is.
From there, they identify the shortest point from A to B where they should bridge. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Podcasts, Top Stories0 Comments

New Video Channel! Wallace Runnymede Video Bomb! (2/2) AND BOOK SALE TOO!

New Video Channel! Wallace Runnymede Video Bomb! (2/2) AND BOOK SALE TOO!

Whew! Did you just catch that?!

http://glossynews.com/top-stories/201701230832/new-video-channel-wallace-runnymede-video-bomb-12/

Here’s some more about my Youtube channel…

With a bit of info about a very, VERY special book deal too!

So…

Right then.

What channels do I have?

Song parodies

I will NEVER monetize this channel, except if the parody relates to any public domain/out-of copyright songs! So… ZERO ads! Continue Reading

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New Video Channel! Wallace Runnymede Video Bomb! (1/2)

New Video Channel! Wallace Runnymede Video Bomb! (1/2)

I set up my old Youtube channel a while back: Continue Reading

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Glossy News Classics: The Series Continues! But Will YOU One Day Make It?

Glossy News Classics: The Series Continues! But Will YOU One Day Make It?

Regular readers will be aware that we recently launched the Glossy News Classics series.

Choice cuts and prime pickings from the vast, VAST back catalog of the second longest-running fake news humor site! Continue Reading

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Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump! (3/3)

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump! (3/3)

https://twitter.com/RealPeteGabriel/status/715963479623147520 Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Music0 Comments

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump! (2/3)

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump! (2/3)

https://twitter.com/RealPeteGabriel/status/715960731255091201 Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Music0 Comments

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump! (1/3)

Peter Gabriel Goes Full Donald Trump! (1/3)

https://twitter.com/RealPeteGabriel/status/715959324208676864 Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Music0 Comments

Hot Out of the Oven – New Donald Trump Memes!

Donald Trump Memes Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, World News0 Comments

Introducing Brian’s ‘How It’s Made’ Funny Dub Series!

Introducing Brian’s ‘How It’s Made’ Funny Dub Series!

Tomorrow, we’re going to see TWO funny new ‘How It’s Made’ videos from Glossy News webmaster Brian K. White.

This is Brian’s Youtube channel:

https://www.youtube.com/user/10kzebra Continue Reading

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Charlie Hebdo Reading List (2/2)

http://glossynews.com/society/religion/201501100332/khomeinisexuality-meet-irans-radical-love-cleric-part-169-jizz-be-upon-him/

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Zero to One

Zero to One

Zero to One: Notes on Startups, or How to Build the Future is a book by PayPal co-founder Peter Thiel. In it he talks about the challenges of producing real innovation to drive a start-up business.

He emphasises doing something new. You have to get a monopoly, with a broad scope. I could start a Finnish restaurant in Leeds for example but I wouldn’t have a monopoly. I would be the only Finnish restaurant in Leeds, but I would actually be competition with all the other restaurants in Leeds nonetheless. Continue Reading

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The Road Ahead! Glossy News on the Up: Let’s All be Part of the Journey! (2/2)

The Road Ahead! Glossy News on the Up: Let’s All be Part of the Journey! (2/2)

So, here’s a selection of what we can offer readers and writers in 2017:

 

Substantially greater output…

 

While still maintaining good quality!

 

That’s not as hard as it sounds, although it does require substantial diligence and dedication.

We have a great circle of writers: some new, some old. Some yet to come! Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Internets Tubes0 Comments

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