Category: Internets Tubes
Glossy News Authors: Are You Unable to Login?
I was emailed by three authors having trouble logging in due to our overly aggressive Spam filter. Are you able to login? Shoot me an email either way, if you have a minute. I’ve tweaked the settings to hopefully resolve…
Man Sues Porn Industry for Making Sex Boring
Dateline: LOS ANGELES–Eduard Garbanzo, a plumber and avid consumer of internet pornography, is suing several top producers of porn for having made sex commonplace and boring. “There’s too much nudity on the internet,” he protests. “They’ve saturated the market, those…
January 2014 GlossyNews Winners Announced
January GlossyNews Winners Announced We have the best satire staff in the game and it’s with glee I announce the winners of our January contest. There was a delay in the announcement caused by, you know, let’s say “factors.” A…
Beautiful Netizen People Burn Butterfly Collector At The Stake
A woman butterfly collector who had the arrogance to write an article describing her honest if not sophomoric and misunderstood anxiety over seeing a chubby black woman at her yoga class has been hunted down, bound, blindfolded and burned at…
The Best GlossyNews Stories of December, 2013
We put out $275 in cash prizes for top authors last month, and while nobody beat the top archive stories, we still handed out an additional three cash prizes. We set out three prizes. One for the top-read article, one…
GlossyNews January, 2014 Contest Announced
Winners from December will be announced this evening, with a story detailing the victors within the next week. The January, 2014 contest is more of the same from last month, almost exactly. $150 if your January story is the top…
Colorblind Woman Cries After Reading The Onion
Napsanotices, Illinois – Following the advice of her trustworthy coworker on Tuesday, 27 year old, Jane DeWitt of the suburbs just outside of Chicago decided to purchase the ingredients for a roast brisket in order to comply with her coworker’s…
Come on, Google ChromeCast, You Know What We Want
Google came out with an innovative product at an amazing price. For just $35 you can get a clever HDMI device to plug into your Hi-Def TV to receive broadcast video from nearly any wireless device in your home. But…
Theory Universe Just A Hologram “Really Messes With Peoples Heads”
An article in the Huffington Post (Science section, Dec. 12) titled ‘Is The Universe A Hologram? Physicists Say It’s Possible’ is causing queasiness amongst many in the world, especially those in a perpetual state of pot induced highness. Our intrepid…
Video News Blooper Reel Proves MSM Make it Up as they Go Along
DATELINE-ANYWHERE – One of the biggest obstacles we face, as a news outlet, is the claim that we’re not as credible as other outlets. This video montage should show otherwise. While we may not check our facts, source our stories,…