Disney Expected to Lobby for Term Extension

Many may not realize this fact, but because Frank Churchill died in 1942, the music of ‘Never Smile at a Crocodile’ from the feature length animated version of ‘Peter Pan’ is set to enter the Public Domain across the EEA on 01/01/2013.

As such, I fully expect the Walt Disney Company to start bribing lobbying the European Parliament as hard as it can to create an EU version of the MMPA Sonny Bono CTEA. Read more Disney Expected to Lobby for Term Extension


The Extendables- Four Ex-Presidents Fight for Their Right to Get Back in the Saddle

Four ex-Presidents.
Four hearts still filled with a passion for the game.
Together they form a super team-


The tale of first class Presidents now turned into first class fighting machines.
Able to rip old legislation apart with their bare hands!
Able to create new laws in the blink of an eye. Read more The Extendables- Four Ex-Presidents Fight for Their Right to Get Back in the Saddle


Bond Thriller Skyfall Shot Full Of Holes In This In-Depth Look


Skyfall, the newest of the James Bond series that is now in its fiftieth year of creation, is an expensively made, well wrought thriller with gorgeous scenery, gorgeous music (by Adele), gorgeous women, gorgeous violence and, unfortunately a story line with severe defects.

Oh well, you can’t have everything, even if you are James Bond. So, I will proceed to shoot Skyfall full of holes, much like JB did with many of the bad guys in the movie.

As impossible as most of the James Bond films are, there are some bits in the film that really send it over the top.

The first is a shot James Bond takes an incredibly long fall off a very high Turkish bridge…and survives. Even for a fit super spy like him this would be a tall order, but you must also throw in the factors that he has been shot and is apparently unconscious when he hits the water. He also appears to go deep into the water (which doesn’t look like it should be that deep in the first place).

They he falls (still unconscious) over a couple small waterfalls. Then, miracle of miracles, he suddenly appears at a beach resort in what was either a Latin American country or is still in Turkey. He doesn’t let anyone know where he is to enjoy the new found freedom of his ‘death’. If he is in Latin America though, wouldn’t M16 have noticed that he entered that country? Also when he roaming around shirtless, did he not have one bullet hole in his chest when he was shot twice? And wasn’t the one that you do see in the opposite side from when he first looked at it on the train? If he had been hit or even nicked by the high powered rifle on the train it would have done some pretty serious damage to him as well.

Other discrepancies that come up are:

M16 has a huge, obvious building in the middle of town- they are lucky that weren’t sabotaged before. Anyone could lob a grenade up on that thing.

Later in the movie the wounded Minister is able to walk directly into Q’s computer room and surprise them without apparently getting stopped by any form of security.

Bond manages to get into M’s apartment which logically should be as secure as Alcatraz was in its day.

The bad guy gets an entire island’s people to get up and leave due to a scare hoax- as we have seen with Katrina and Hurricane Sandy not everyone listens when you warn them.

Bond finds a casino chip worth 4 million Euros in the gun case of a crack assassin that he has killed. Since when would anyone carry an expensive casino chip around in a gun case, especially an expert assassin?

Bond gives a vulnerable young girl a suitcase with 4 million Euros in it at a notorious Macao casino. He might just as well hung a sign on her that said ‘Mug Me!”

Bad guy in subway chase blows hole in side of tunnel although he did not have time to set the explosive.

Bond returns to his childhood home in Scotland. In the books he is French/English.

Bond doesn’t hide the Austin (car) when hiding out at Scottish home although the bad guys are looking for him.

Although he kills everyone else he wants to in the movie the bad guy doesn’t kill the Scottish houseman when he captures M.

Since when do two small propane tanks create enough of an explosion to blow up a stone mansion when ignited?

The next exterior scene at the Skyfall mansion is at night when a moment before inside it was still day.

Band falls through the ice in a pond outside home in Scotland and goes impossibly deep into it, although from the size and location of the pond it cannot be that deep.

Although the knife Bond throws at the bad guy is not balanced it manages to land perfectly and penetrate his leather jacket and go deep enough into his body to kill him. It is also unlikely because the blade is not long enough to reach his heart.

M dies way too conveniently at the end of the Skyfall drama.

Lastly, and most importantly, James Bond is blond. No way a blond could ever become the top British spy!


Local Man Pretty Sure He Has Seen Character Actor in Other Things

INDIANAPOLIS – Sitting down to watch the 2009 film The Young Victoria with his wife Angela, local man Andrew Collins insisted that he definitely recognizes that one character actor from somewhere, but where?

Not quite able to place where in fact the seemingly experienced British actor has cropped up before, Collins proceeded to rattle off other films that he and his wife have seen in the past three months. Read more Local Man Pretty Sure He Has Seen Character Actor in Other Things


George Lucas Struggling to Spend 4 Additional Billion

George Lucas invented the Star Wars franchise, and with it, ushered in a new and previously unimagined era of movie merchandising. While he struggled to find ways to spend his first two billion dollars, he’s really at wits end now that he is saddled with four additional billion dollars.

Earlier this year the Disney Corporation purchased LucasFilms for $4.05 billion, and if you thought ol’ George had trouble burning through the first couple billion, his problems are now magnified by a factor of three. Read more George Lucas Struggling to Spend 4 Additional Billion


Hollywood: Remade (Electric Boogaloo)

After years and years of poor Hollywood remakes the film capital of the world has decided that Hollywood, itself, needs a remake.

Set for release in November 2015 the Hollywood remake will see star-studded town set in downtown Detroit, with the Hollywood sign made out of scrap metal.

Liz Silverman, head of the Committee Remake Association Partnership (CRAP), told Glossy News that she felt it was the right step for Hollywood: Read more Hollywood: Remade (Electric Boogaloo)


Ayn Rand Based Movie Atlas Shrugged: Part 2 – We All Shrugged

Today I spent my afternoon at the movies, if you can call them that. I had what can only be described as a hopefully forgetful afternoon viewing one of the most horrific movies that has come out this year, or maybe ever, Atlas Shrugged: Part 2.

This movie runs like a desolate highway in Texas; it’s much too long and there’s regrettably, unforgivably nothing to see. Read more Ayn Rand Based Movie Atlas Shrugged: Part 2 – We All Shrugged


Hard-Up Filmmaker Frantically Writing Raunchy Muhammed Screenplay

YORKTOWN – Struggling to break into the film industry with a series of underfunded independent projects, local filmmaker Alan Friedrich was frantically writing a controversial screenplay Friday, depicting the Muslim prophet Muhammed as an alcoholic, homosexual gambler.

Set to the working title of Muhammed Does Vegas, the screenplay was first devised as a conceptual piece about life in rural Indiana. Read more Hard-Up Filmmaker Frantically Writing Raunchy Muhammed Screenplay


Bad News Guvna: Original ‘James Bond’ was American


Who was the first James Bond on film?

Sean Connery?

Yes, that is true if you go strictly by movie films. Could you believe that there was a television version of Ian Flemings Casino Royale that predated Connery’s first outing as Bond by eight years?

RIGHT: James Bond has stood the test of time, and even survived his transformation into a British icon. (CLICK TO ENLARGE) Read more Bad News Guvna: Original ‘James Bond’ was American


Disney Closes Down the Public Domain

In its latest controversial move, the Walt Disney Company has recently acquired wordmarks on the names of several fairytale characters for literary and text based works, in addition to its wordmarks on the same names for all other purposes.

A spokesperson from Disney explained, “We felt it necessary to obtain these trademarks because while we thought the others would be sufficient to protect our characters from abuse, it turns out that people have been abusing them nonetheless. Read more Disney Closes Down the Public Domain


M Night Shyamalan’s Children in Tears After Big Twist ‘Resolves’ Bedtime Story

M Night Shyamalan’s daughters were being comforted today after being “cheated” by the last installment of their father’s bedtime story.

The two girls are refusing to speak to the Hollywood director after he tied up the many plot contradictions by saying the whole tale had in fact just taken place in the mind of a fevered old woman.

The older girl told us, “He promised he wouldn’t just explain everything away with one of his ‘big twists’ again. Read more M Night Shyamalan’s Children in Tears After Big Twist ‘Resolves’ Bedtime Story


Pre-Movie Announcement Advises Moviegoers to Put Kids on Silent

CASTLETON – Prior to its 5:35 screening of Alvin and the Chipmunks, a cinema today advised patrons to make sure all babies were switched off and that any children between the ages of 4 and 11 remain on silent throughout the film.

Responding to recent complaints, the AMC Castleton cinema aired a 30-second public service announcement encouraging movie goers to “turn off your kids”. Read more Pre-Movie Announcement Advises Moviegoers to Put Kids on Silent


Struggling Local Actress Lands Gritty New Role as Data Entry Clerk

INDIANAPOLIS – After working tirelessly to break into the professional theater scene since her graduation from Butler University in 2009, former Theater Studies major Rachael Cardwell has landed a gritty new role entering data for S.C. Clarkson Ltd.

The talented struggling actress, whose only recent stage credit includes playing Lady Montague in a community theater production of Romeo & Juliet, joined up with the accounting firm’s existing crew members Monday. Read more Struggling Local Actress Lands Gritty New Role as Data Entry Clerk


Major Continuity Error in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ Sees Batman Unveil Really High Pitched Voice

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Having lined up for four hours to watch the latest installment of the Batman saga Thursday, fans of the series were left stunned as a major continuity flaw saw Christian Bale introduce a significantly higher register to the Caped Crusader’s voice. Read more Major Continuity Error in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ Sees Batman Unveil Really High Pitched Voice


Mubarak ‘Mummy Movie’ Planned for 2013

Famed Egyptian director, Khairy Beshara, has announced his plan to film a number of features about an undead Hosni Mubarak who wreaks havoc on his countrymen.  The first in the horror series will be Curse of Mubarak The Mummy: A New Arab Awakening.

“I got the idea while I was staring into Mubarak’s cage: What will happen if he dies during his trial? There will be no justice,” says Beshara, who promises justice will be served in full force in the movies. Read more Mubarak ‘Mummy Movie’ Planned for 2013


Arizona Shooter Cast as Uncle Fester in Franchise Reboot

Although the criminal case against accused gunman, Jared Lee Loughner, is just beginning, one thing is for certain, he’s going to prison. And if the administrators over at the infamous Supermax facility in Fremont County, Colorado have anything to say about it, he’ll be doing his time with them, where sources say he’s already being considered for a part in their prison production of The Addams Family musical. Read more Arizona Shooter Cast as Uncle Fester in Franchise Reboot