Archive | Celebrity Gossip

Angus T. Jones Proves Sheen Wasn’t the Real Crazy

Angus T. Jones Proves Sheen Wasn’t the Real Crazy

Erstwhile chubster and modern day mini-hunk Angus T. Jones, best known as the child Charlie Sheen molested on Two and a Half Men made waves this week when he turned on his handlers and devoured whole his own career.

The child actor best known for playing third-fiddle behind Jon Cryer spoke out at a christian event, decrying the show that pays him $350,000 per 22-minutes of production as evil, demonic and “truly Sheenish”. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Entertainment1 Comment

Libyan Press Conference Misquote Causes Health Concerns for Hillary Clinton

Libyan Press Conference Misquote Causes Health Concerns for Hillary Clinton

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com)

Fresh from her overseas trip to Libya to address the current political turmoil, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton laid to rest her physical ailments before a questioning international press corp in lieu of reports that she recently visited a well-known physician before leaving on her overseas trip.

"Yes, I have a condition and Bill is helping look after it for me," stated the teary-eyed ex-First Lady. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Politics0 Comments

The ‘World’s Most Interesting Man’ Tells Why He Won’t Debate

The ‘World’s Most Interesting Man’ Tells Why He Won’t Debate

Coast of Paraguay – (SatireWorld.com)

Fernando Monte Verde retired a number of years ago from a successful business career and at that time would have never believed he would one day be the envy of every male on the planet!

But today Fernando certainly is that man.

Fernando explains…”Two years ago, Dos Equis beer announced a world-wide search for the Most Interesting Man in the World. The requirements were simple. Continue Reading

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Prison Medical Request Denied by Sandusky Judge During Sentencing

Prison Medical Request Denied by Sandusky Judge During Sentencing

Harrisburg, PA – (SatireWorld.com)

Judge Marvin Hayes denied an anal plug request for recently convicted child molester Jerry Sandusky submitted by his defense team upon sentencing this week.

Sandusky’s recent conviction of 45 counts of serial child molestation and subsequent sentencing requires him to spend the rest of his life behind bars in a maxiumum security prison. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Sportsfolk1 Comment

Gwen Stefani’s Belly Button Demands More Money

Gwen Stefani’s Belly Button Demands More Money

LOS ANGELES – According to TMZ, Gwen Stefani’s belly button has started intense negotiations with the singer in an attempt to receive more compensation.

Despite doing absolutely nothing except being attached to Stefani’s body, the belly button (which is asking to be referred to as Suzie) is demanding a 50% increase in her daily stipend and a larger assortment of jewelery.

The belly button is also demanding her own camera crew and a meeting with reality show executives. “Look, everyone knows that I’m the real talent behind Gwen. She would just be another female pop star if it wasn’t for my amazing beauty. And she knows it! That’s why she always flaunts me to the world,” said the belly button. Continue Reading

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Honey Boo Boo Plans Comeback For 2046

Honey Boo Boo Plans Comeback For 2046

7-year-old Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson says she plans to burn out soon as a child star but has already planned her ‘comeback’ for the year 2046 when she is 41 years old.

“Sure, I’m a fat child star now but my good fortune won’t hold out forever!” a very mature Boo Boo stated. “By the time I hit my teens I will be burnt out on drugs and sleeping with all kinds of losers”.

Boo Boo says she will probably lose all her money through unscrupulous managers, bad investments and a greedy mother. However, she claims the nostalgia craze will enable her to regain her fortune when she is older.

Her mother June Shannon supports her daughters future comeback. “I admit, I’m terrible at managing money”, Shannon stated. “I mean, I’m just a dumb southern housewife with this freaking talented kid and I don’t know what the hell I’m doing!”

“If I’m this obnoxious now can you imagine me in a few years?” Boo Boo asked. “I’m lucky I’m still gonna be working next year!” TLC network has renewed the show for another season.

Honey Boo Boo also pointed out that she’s not as dumb as the TLC network makes her out to be.

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Entertainment1 Comment

Topless Pictures of Kate Middleton Leave Observers Saying “Meh”

Topless Pictures of Kate Middleton Leave Observers Saying “Meh”

LONDON- A French tabloid is under scrutiny for publishing pictures of the Duchess of Cambridge topless. While Americans and the rest of the world fell in love with Kate when she was getting married, the recent photos have swayed public opinion.

“I mean, she’s pretty and all, but now I know the top of that wedding dress was definitely stuffed. I’m not sure if I can trust a divine sovereign who stuffs her bra,” says a British man walking the streets of London. Continue Reading

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Courtney Cox Wants Romantic Reunion with Bruce Springsteen

Courtney Cox Wants Romantic Reunion with Bruce Springsteen

Since officially filing for divorce from David Arquette in June, Courtney Cox has been pulling out all the stops in an effort to rekindle a once-blossoming romance with rock legend Bruce Springsteen dating back to 1984.

Back then, the fresh faced 20-year old gained fame by appearing in the music video for Dancing in the Dark, the first single off Springsteen’s landmark album, Born in the USA. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip6 Comments

Royal Photo Flap: Prince Charles Banned From Reviewing Troops After Groping Affair

Royal Photo Flap: Prince Charles Banned From Reviewing Troops After Groping Affair

Buckingham Castle (UK) – (SatireWorld.com)

Royal watchers were astounded after a royal edict came down from the Queen that forbids Prince Charles from attending any parade or inspection functions at any military bases across Britain.

This is in response to public furor aver a recent tabloid article published on Wednesday. Continue Reading

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Jessica Simpson Reveals Her $4 Million Weight Loss Plan

Jessica Simpson Reveals Her $4 Million Weight Loss Plan

Former sexpot and singing sensation Jessica Simpson, who ballooned up to 170 pounds during her pregnancy, claims the $4 million offer by Weight Watchers has enabled her to shed her excess pounds.

“They offered me millions to get back in shape!” Simpson exulted. “Who could turn down an offer like that?”

Simpson said she doubted her ability to lose weight until Weight Watchers approached her with the offer. “I thought my modeling days were over and I was content to sit around the house stuffing myself”, Simpson stated. “But for $4 million bucks I’d gladly lose weight!” Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Entertainment5 Comments

The Naked Congressman (Please Won’t You?) Cover-Up

The Naked Congressman (Please Won’t You?) Cover-Up

For more than a year, first-term Congressional Representative Kevin Yoder (Republican from Kansas) managed to conceal the fact that he went skinny-dipping in front of twenty other members of Congress, their staff and families, during a trip to Israel.

The incident was exposed, as was the naked Congressman, by an FBI investigation into the all-expense paid trip, an official one-week tour sponsored by the American Israel Educational Foundation costing approximately $10,000 per person. Continue Reading

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Clint Eastwood Speaks at RNC, Warns Hurricane Isaac to ‘Get off my Lawn.’

Clint Eastwood Speaks at RNC, Warns Hurricane Isaac to ‘Get off my Lawn.’

Tampa- In a phenomenon that has left meteorologists stunned and searching for answers, Hurricane Isaac has unexpectedly retreated back into the Gulf of Mexico and petered out into a solitary storm cloud.

The storm’s demise coincided with Clint Eastwood’s arrival in Tampa, FL for the 2012 Republican National Convention, causing many of the actor’s fans to flock to the internet, attributing the legendary actor’s presence to Hurricane Isaac’s sudden end. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Politics3 Comments

Democratic National Convention to Premiere Joe Biden Reality TV Show

Democratic National Convention to Premiere Joe Biden Reality TV Show

Charlotte, North Carolina – A week before the Democratic National Convention is scheduled to start, leaked sources indicated that the convention will feature a premiere of Joe Biden’s new reality TV show, Joe the Vice President.

It aims to be the “most epic” reality show, says Biden.

The show’s format will be Joe Biden traveling the country, performing random jobs and duties normally done by ordinary citizens. After the leak, Biden has been giving multiple interviews at press junkets and conferences. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Television3 Comments

“Gabby Douglas Nude” Photos Fail to Materialize

“Gabby Douglas Nude” Photos Fail to Materialize

Ever since her gold medal-winning performance at the Olympic Games, millions of people throughout the world have been searching Google and other search engines for nude pictures of 16-year-old Gabby Douglas to no avail.

“There’s a lot of perverts out there,” said Google CEO Larry Page. “To the best of my knowledge, there are no legitimate photos of Gabby nude or even in her underwear.” Continue Reading

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72% of Justin Bieber Fans Fail Turing Test

72% of Justin Bieber Fans Fail Turing Test

Alan Turing developed a level of accomplishment called the “Turing Test”, which was; can a computer trick a human into believing it is human.

It turns out, in tests, 72% of Justin Bieber fans failed this test, leading researchers to assume that they were less-than human.

Lead Researcher Gupta-Gupta Khamari from University of California, Berkeley, explained the findings like this. Continue Reading

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Justin Bieber Seeks Counseling after Suffering from ‘Normal Thoughts’

Justin Bieber Seeks Counseling after Suffering from ‘Normal Thoughts’

LONDON, ONTARIO–In a highly publicized press conference yesterday, Scooter Braun, manager of Canadian teen-pop idol Justin Bieber, revealed that the young star is seeking professional help for what he describes as “recurring, and almost debilitating, normal thoughts”.

“Justin has had a serious relapse, but he is getting the help he needs,” said Braun.

“Our team of celebrity psychiatrists have assured me that Justin will not suffer any long-term effects from these thoughts and that he will be back to spreading Bieber Fever in no time.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Entertainment3 Comments

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