Luke Wilson Gives Dismembering Performance

Los Angeles, California – It is no secret that Luke Wilson’s once brilliant movie career has been in a steady decline since starring in the delightful comedy, Old School, alongside Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn in 2003. “Pills, hookers and whiskey. The only things that help his faded image set in,” said Hobo, Maneato Griswald, who frequently wanders by Wilson’s home in Los Angeles and was digging through his trash at the time. “People think that trash doesn’t tell an accurate story about a person’s success, but it does! Ten years ago, Wilson was throwing away uneaten racks of lamb, but today, nothing except fast-food containers and TV dinners. The man deserves better!” Added a frustrated Griswald.

Wilson was reenacting the scene from Old School in which he disregards Vince Vaughn’s excitement of starting a fraternity with his concerned response of “but none of us are enrolled in the college,” one of the pivotal scenes from the film.

The reenactment was so commanding that several full-figured mannequins discarded by an obsolete JCPenny department store, removed their own limbs following the performance to show their admiration for the once employable actor.

According to Wilson’s agent, Jerry Metro, a sequel titled, Older School, is being planned, but no official information has been made public yet. Wilson hopes to reprise his role in the sequel and said that the lively response following his reenactment has helped him gain confidence that one day a live audience will get to see him act again.

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