Tel Aviv, Israel – Possibly fearing career backlash over her eight year stint as official ambassador for international human rights organization OXFAM, Scarlett Johansson has decided to join the Israel Defense Forces (IDF).
“I am very happy to be part of the IDF and will work very hard to turn back the tide of anti-Semitic Jew hate typified by organizations like OXFAM. Mazel Tov!” said Johansson.
A statement put out by the IDF said “We are proud to have half Jew Scarlett working with us. She will be assigned to our Ministry of Truth and know she may become our most valuable asset in the US. Plus, she’ll look great on the cover of our annual “IDF Girls Gone Wild” calendar.”