Category: Books, Newspapers & Misc
Weight-Loss Program Guarantees You’ll Lose Interest in Under 2 Weeks
INDIANAPOLIS – As millions of Americans continue to return to post-holiday life, a controversial new weight-loss program – pioneered by a self-help guru in California – guarantees that dieters will lose interest in the program in just 2 weeks. Launching…
America’s New Dirty Words Are No Longer Four Letters Long
Merriam Webster Online, one of the worlds most famous English dictionaries, has announced that the most looked up words online this year were ‘socialism’ and ‘capitalism’. This just goes to show the confusion in the American public over the true…
“Weekly Gleaner” Implements Literal, Physical Paywall
PINE RAPIDS, Iowa – Having experienced yet another money-losing quarter, the Pine Rapids Weekly Gleaner has decided to follow the lead of such papers as the New York Times and implement a paywall. “Let’s face it,” said Editor Dwight Turnbull….
Marvel Comics Auditions New ‘Avengers’ Members; Many Rejected, Dejected
Marvel Comics today announced which of the new rash of superheroes wishing to join the elite fighting force called the Avengers who were rejected. Sadly, there are always a number of aspiring young do-gooders who do not make the grade…
GlossyNews.com Proves Its Might ala Petitions
After our amazing success with the 62-articles we ran on election day, we were emboldened to go a bit futher. We authored a pair of White House petitions, and both of them went live to the White House site. One…
Common Sense Files to Secede from The Union
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following a number of high profile lapses in ordinary, rational behavior across the country in recent months, “common sense” put forward a petition Friday to secede from the United States. Filing its petition on the White House’s…
A Date w/ Petraeus: You’re either “All In or All Out”
Paula Broadwell and Rielle Hunter will be starting an exclusive club calling it “Groucars”. The name is a portmanteau of Groupie and Cougar. Membership is restricted to women in their 40’s with a hankering for older guys holding high governmental…
Blockbuster Book Reveals Adolf Hitler’s Most Personal Moments
Berlin, Germany – (SatireWorld.com) Workers excavating a world war II bunker discovered a treasure trove of historical photos and secret documents. Many are considered new and previously unseen and include personal photos of Adolf Hitler candidly taken by Ava Braun,…
Newspapers Decline as Baked Beans Continue to Boom
New figures show the continuing decline of print newspaper circulation all over the world. Circulation is down a further 15% from last year’s figures, meaning that fewer people are buying a newspaper. Professor John McDonald, department head of the scientific…
50 Shades of Gray Author Shockingly Honored
The author of the 50 Shades trilogy has been handed the Nobel Prize for Peace. In what the literally, scientific and political world are deeming a ‘horrible, shocking mistake’, Erika Leonard was presented with the prize in Oslo City Hall…