Berlin, Germany – (SatireWorld.com) Workers excavating a world war II bunker discovered a treasure trove of historical photos and secret documents.
Many are considered new and previously unseen and include personal photos of Adolf Hitler candidly taken by Ava Braun, his mistress.
For many years after the end of the war in 1945, rumors persisted that the Nazi leader farted openly for his sexual pleasure while bathing in a luxurious bathtub in the German Chancellery.
PHOTO INSERT: Corporal Belk claims Hitler once sunk a replica of the British battleship HMS Hood with a well-directed fart and quick light of a match. He downplayed rumors of any Jewish yellow rubber ducks being involved
Rumors evolved into folklore, as many one-time close confidants confirmed the rumors, included SS Corporal Fritz Belk who was the Feurher’s personal bath attendant from 1942-45. Belk, like most SS elite troops, was captured by allied forces and imprisoned until 1949.
According to Belk, age 94, “He would cut one and intently watched as soon as the bubbles rose to the surface of the water. When they popped, he would light them with a match and giggle! Yes, it was disgusting, but, you know, the guy really had a lot on his mind during those days.”
Belk recalls what is perhaps his weirdest function during Hitler’s gas outletting…”I had to crank a little-bitty miniature air raid siren and yell…INCOMING! Of course Goehring hated when I did that because he had such a hard time wiggling his bulky ass under a desk.”
A new photo book of Hitler and his most intimate moments will be released in the spring of 2013. Entitled…‘Adolf, Once You Knew Him He Wasn’t So Bad’ is a compilation of anecdotal stories told by those who were there and those who are suffering from extreme advanced Alzheimer Disease.
During the war Allied intelligence gleaned fragments of information concerning Nazi ‘Wonder Weapons’ and it was thought at the time that the German’s were building immense gas-type weapons to use against any Europe invasion. It seems Hitler’s fantasy only added fuel, though somewhat stinky, to the fire.