Author: Will Johnson
Plastic Surgeon Fixes Wrong Nose
Tulsa, OK – GlossyNews.com – In one of the more bizarre cases of alleged medical malpractice in recent years, plastic surgeon Rolando Alverez performed a complete surgical rhinoplasty (nose job) on the wrong patient at St.Sebastian’s Hospital in Tulsa OK…
75-Year Reunion Attracts Living Dead
Collegetown, Penn – GlossyNews.com – Penn State’s 75-year college reunion was disrupted Tuesday by the arrival of a horde of living dead from nearby Collegetown Cemetery. Based on cemetery dental records, all of the living dead who showed up at…
Early Risers Threaten World Domination
Cambridge, Mass – GlossyNews.com – As if there weren’t enough catastrophes hanging over the world already, Harverford University’s World Crisis Laboratory has identified a brand new threat to planet earth, namely, early risers. What are early risers? They’re those zombie-like…
Federal Workforce May Have Topped 3-Million, or Maybe Not
Washington DC – GlossyNews.com – According to the most recent government data available, Uncle Sam’s civilian workforce may have topped 3 million as of March 1, 2010, says spokeswoman Audrey Slaberman. “This is a truly remarkable achievement,” says Slaberman, “that…
Biggie Burger Introduces the “Suicide Burger”
Parkersburg WV – GlossyNews.com – Biggie Burger Inc. of Parkersburg WV, famous for its patented 1200-calorie Gargantuan Burger, today introduced its even more massive artery-destroying Suicide Burger. Reportedly the new menu item will be so huge customers will be provided…
Aliens Abduct Rhode Island, Connecticut Unaware
Woonsocket, RI – GlossyNews.com – In one of the most bizarre UFO events yet recorded, aliens reportedly abducted the entire State of Rhode Island. It happened at 3:15 AM May 10. The entire episode was documented by Barney J. Brothers…
Russian Spy Ring Busted-Up in Nudist Camp
Venice, Fla – GlossyNews.com – Where the Sun Don’t Shine Nudist Camp in Venice, Fla was the scene of a recent major FBI raid as agents, posing as nudist camp members, sprang a trap on a dozen alleged Russian spies…
Mafia Gangster Admits to Sex Change, Not for Disguise
New York. – GlossyNews.com – Vinnie Gelano (“Big Jelly”) always knew he was really a girl. “Even when I was collecting from deadbeats out on the street, breaking bones, whatever, I always knew I had this soft spot inside, a…
House Passes Historic “Earmarks Only” Bill
Washington, DC – GlossyNews.com – The U.S. House of Representatives today passed the bipartisan $500 million No Districts Left Behind Bill by a vote of 399 to 36. An historical departure from the governing body’s usual practice of adding pork…
Woman Sues Gigolo for Nonperformance
Vail, Col – GlossyNews.com – Bernice J. Sommerstein has sued ski instructor and self-proclaimed gigolo, Brad Chadley, for failing to perform according to an oral agreement entered into following Sommerstein’s ski lesson on February 3, asking $250 in monetary damages…