Author: Stephen Philip Druce
London Poet Rescued from Buffalo at Dublin Hotel
Iconic London poet Charles Brady had to be rescued from the inside of a buffalo this week, at Dublin’s Raven Hotel in Ireland. Brady told Glossy News:
Film Critic Fired at London Cinema
Edinburgh based film critic Mary Watkins has been arrested for shooting dead sixty four cinema goers at an Ealing cinema. One witness commented: It all started with her open disapproval of the opening credit names in the introduction to the…
Unbelievable! New Fines Introduced For Silly “Cooking & Driving” Offence… What’s Going On!
Drivers caught cooking whilst driving are to face tough penalties, the government says. Under new rules expected to come in next year, drivers will receive six points on their license and a £120 fine.
Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown Wins Poet Laureate Award
Stand up comedian Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown has won the Poet Laureate award for 2018. The controversial blue comic won the coveted prize after one of the competition’s judges discovered one of his poems written on a public toilet wall in…
Toilet Roll to be Next James Bond
It’s been officially announced this week! The new James Bond is to be played by a toilet roll, in the new James Bond movie: “Firing Bullets from out of a gun.”
Jeremy Hunt Warns the Public of… “Cough Your Asshole Out Craze!”
UK secretary of state for health Jeremy Hunt has warned the public of the latest social media craze… ‘Cough your asshole out!
ANYONE FOR TEA?! (A Poem From My Days as an Office Tea Boy)
Simon needs a herbal, or he’ll get in a strop, Lucy wants the cream in, or moan that it’s a flop.
‘I Was A Professional Racing Driver in my Youth!’ Claims Donald Trump
There are concerns for Donald Trump’s mental stability in the wake of his most recent interview with Sky News. The US president told the interviewer:
David Attenborough in Furious Rant at British Wildlife Awards
Sir David Attenborough, veteran English broadcaster and naturalist has caused a stir at The British Wildlife T.V. Awards in London. Uncharacteristically, the ‘Life On Earth’ presenter self-indulged in an indignant monologue… As he accepted the coveted prize for ‘Best Goldfish…
Donald Trump Tells Press: I’m Not the Mad One!
At a press conference in Washington, US president Donald Trump has spoken about the media’s smear campaign that has labelled him as ‘a madman.’ Trump said: I’m not the mad one folks, it’s fake news.