It’s been officially announced this week! The new James Bond is to be played by a toilet roll, in the new James Bond movie:
“Firing Bullets from out of a gun.”
The film’s producer Mark Hudson commented:
It’s not a traditional appointment for the role; but toilet roll is very capable of portraying a debonair, womanising, secret service agent. When toilet roll is fortified with quality cardboard you finally have a 007 in the making. This new 007 will take its rightful place among the pantheon of British screen icons: Connery, Moore, Brosnan, Lazenby, Craig, and soon to be bog roll – the first bog roll bond.
There is nothing more arousing than feeling the velvety contours of tissue paper,
Brushing against your tights.
The new Bond car will be fitted with a special toilet roll holder gadget, so toilet roll can rest easily between scenes.