Author: JihadTimes
Brazil’s Economy Skyrockets in Soccer Tournament; Millions of Wallets Stolen
The 2014 FIFA World Cup event will be a beneficial factor that will help Brazil with its not-so-good economy, at least that’s what Hispanic skinhead, Pitbull, had to say about it. Hispanic, cancer man later went on to gibber on…
Teens in School Tour Bus Crash Catch Fire; Parents Glad it Wasn’t Aids
Parents of teenagers that were severely Jewed alive in the school tour bus crash in Los Angeles are now relieved from the good news that was delivered to them this week. The smarty-pant scientists confirmed this morning that the school…
Yeezus Punishes Kanye West for Taking His Own Name in Vain
Yeezus, master of all universes, creator of light and darkness which thrives upon us has blamed and punished the innocent Kanye West for criticizing him in a public ceremony after calling him a “no good, dirty piece of shit” and…
Douch-Dad Doesn’t Arrive to Daughter’s Ballet Recital; Vagina Syndrome Suspected
A stereotypical middle class Caucasian father, owner of three adorable children is still being a huge douchebag by not arriving to his little girl’s ballet recital which begins at 4 pm. When asked on who was going to arrive to…
Arizona Scientists Prove Alien Existence; Body is Launched Back to Planet Mexico
Scientists from the University of Arizona have concluded this Friday that the possible existence of extraterrestrial life could become a reality after certain test results are finalized. The University was baffled when a 2,500 year old alien life form, Ernesto…
Kim Jong-un Diagnosed w/ Breast Cancer; Citizens Forced to Cry or be Shot
It was early spring of 2014 when the savior of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, was enjoying his three course meal in complete tranquility, an annual source of food considered by his people. To everyone’s surprise, later that day, it was…
Malaysian Airliner Wins Gold in 2014’s Hide and Seek Olympic Tournament
Malaysian Airliner MH370 staff and passengers were officially declared 2014’s Hide and Seek gold champions by the International Olympics Committee this week leaving millions pissed that the team did not attempt to break the world record set by Osama Bin…