Posted in Music Opinion/Editorial

American Cow Pie

Authors Note: This is a Parody of Don Mclean’s Classic American Pie. I wrote this during the financial crisis at the beginning of the Obama Administration. It’s interesting to look back at how much has changed, and yet, how little…

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Posted in Opinion/Editorial Top Stories

Partisan Significance

The system’s broke, Nobody’s interested in fixing it. What a fucking joke, They’re either sycophants or hypocrites. The vitriol you spoke, Evoked partisan belligerence. Highlighting our differences Driving a wedge in between.

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

Ann Coulter Grants Trump Permission to Reopen Federal Government… Finally.

Washington, DC- Political pundit, and current Trump Administration Minister of All Things Policy, Ann Coulter, granted President Donald Trump permission to end the federal government shutdown on Thursday, claiming she was bored with the lack of progress achieved after another…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

Trump’s Government Shutdown: EXCLUSIVE Glossy News Expose of Previously Unknown Discussions!

Washington, DC- Previously censored footage has thrown some light on the recent shutdown decision, and on the deliberations made beforehand.  First, the White House announced that President Donald Trump was unhappy about the latest Continued Resolution (CR), passed by Congress…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

Rand Paul Wants To Join Senators Grassley And McConnell In Game of Russian Roulette

Washington, DC- On Monday, Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley(R-IA) challenged Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) to a duel for leadership of the Senate, after the Majority leader declined to hold a vote on bipartisan legislation aimed at criminal…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

Mark Meadows Vows House Freedom Caucus Will Support Wall Funding

Senator Explains There Are “Other Options” To Sink This Bill (And All Others Like It) Washington, DC- House Freedom Caucus(HFC) Chairman Mark Meadows (R-NC) told reporters that members of the HFC would not block President Trump’s request for an additional…

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Posted in Politics World News

Trump Declares USMCA Funds Border Wall… Trudeau Disagrees

Buenos Aires, Argentina- On Friday, leaders from the United States, Mexico, and Canada formally endorsed the United States- Mexico- Canada Agreement (USMCA) before a packed house at the G-20 Summit. On Monday, US President Donald Trump declared political victory via…

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Posted in Entertainment Sports Sports Scandals

Redskins Owner Won’t Rule Out Signing Kareem Hunt

Washington, DC- On Monday, Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder refused to rule out signing former Kansas City Chiefs Running back, Kareem Hunt, after he was released by his team on Friday. Hunt was a standout star for the AFC leading…

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Posted in Politics

Silence of the Intel: Bob Goodlatte Afraid Comey Could be the Next Strzok

Washington, DC- In an interview with Fox News on Friday, House Judiciary Committee Chair Bob Goodlatte (R-VA) indicated he was not open to interviewing former FBI Director James Comey in a public hearing, citing fears that such action may sway…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

Grassley Challenges McConnell to a Duel for Control of Senate

Washington, DC- On Friday, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R- SC) indicated that he would not hold a vote on a bipartisan criminal justice reform bill during the lame duck congressional session, and would instead focus his efforts on confirming…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories World News

MBS Claims Other Leaders Are ‘Racist Hypocrites’ As He Flees From G20 Summit

Buenos Aires, Argentina- Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman (MBS) lashed out at world leaders, calling out Argentina and the US in particular, as he boarded a plane for Saudi Arabia at the conclusion of the G20 Summit on Sunday.  MBS’…

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Posted in Environment Health Politics Science Science & Technologizzy World News

Scarily Innovative! ‘Clean Coal’ & ‘Safe Lead’ Head US Panel at Next Week’s UN Climate Talks

Washington, DC- Acting EPA Administrator Andrew Wheeler announced on Friday, the White House would hold a panel on clean technology during the annual U.N. climate talks in Poland next week. “We will be featuring a number of green technologies at…

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Posted in Politics

DeVos Proposes to Make Education Great… Again

Washington, DC- Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos cast all doubt aside as to where she stands on the issue of student debt, after issuing a harsh rebuke against students enrolled in government backed student loan programs; in a press conference…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

White House Releases New Press Corps Rules

Washington, DC- Fresh off a U.S. District Court ruling that forced the Trump Administration to return the press pass of CNN chief White House correspondent Jim Acosta, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders announced new rules of conduct for reporters on…

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Posted in Politics

Mistaken Identity Possible Cause of ‘Orange Julius’ Mall Riot In Florida

(Part 3 of 3) Central, Fl- Strange accounts are emerging this afternoon, after Central Police released three people suspected of participation in a riot Friday night which lead to a four hour ordeal that ended with teargas,numerous arrests, injuries and…

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Posted in Politics

Secret Service Investigate Florida ‘Orange Julius’ Mall Riot

(Part 2 of 3) Central, Fl- Federal authorities, including members of the FBI and the Secret Service, have apparently joined the laundry list of law enforcement agencies investigating a riot that took place at the Sunset Mall Friday evening. Early…

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Posted in Politics

Florida Man Vs. Orange Julius Kiosk

(Part 1 of 3) Central, Fl- Central Police were forced to break out the riot gear, after violence erupted inside a suburban mall early Friday night. Wilmont Clemmons, 33, of Clear, Fl was booked on charges of Disturbing the Peace,…

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Posted in Politics

Tucker Carlson Declares War Against Color…  Specifically Blue

Washington, DC- Viewers of Fox News Networks Tucker Carlson Tonight have grown accustomed to the prime time host’s fiery brand of socially driven commentary, since his show replaced the popular O’Reilly Factor earlier this year. Carlson proved to the world…

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Posted in Politics

Jeff Flake May Return to Senate in 2020

Phoenix, AZ- Recently re-elected Arizona Governor, Doug Ducey (R-AZ), told members of the press on Friday that he would not rule out Jeff Flake (R-AZ) as a possible successor to current stand-in Senator, John Kyl (R-AZ), who took over the…

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Posted in Human Interest Society

Revenge Of The Seth

Pre-Summer Bummer Clear, FL- “Authorities have no leads at this time, and the student body is obviously very disappointed,” Clear County Superintendent of Schools, Denise Tasker told reporters from the steps of James Marsden High School on Monday morning. “I…

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