Author: BC Bass
Bob Crane’s Murder Now Ruled Difficult and Lengthy Suicide
Bob Crane was an American disc jockey and actor, best known for his performance as Colonel Robert E. Hogan in the television sitcom Hogan’s Heroes, which ran from 1965 to 1971. Crane appeared in a number of other career-crushing shows,…
Brittany Murphy Had Several More “Films” in the Works
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Brittany Murphy was a hardworking actress who was juggling multiple movie projects in the months leading up to her unexpected death, according to Hollywood sources. “This is truly a loss,” lamented Norgay Pfifflebother, an expert on homemade…
Pope: “You Go to War w/ Salvation Army You Have, Not Salvation Army You Want”
SAN ANTONIO, Texas — The Salvation Army was founded in 1865. Its first converts were alcoholics, heroin addicts, prostitutes and other “undesirables” unwelcome in polite Christian society. And for nearly 150 years, these undesirables have been running one of the…
Scientists Discover Medical Link to SIDS — Not the Demon Lilith
After two decades of work, doctors and medical researchers in the United States believe they have evidence that abnormally low levels of serotonin — a chemical in the brain that helps control breathing during sleep — plays a pivotal role…
Rising Porn Star Admits to Using Performance-Enhancing Altoids
SAN FERNANDO, CA — Up-and-coming porn starlet Corrine Hard was rapidly becoming a household name until she received a summons to appear before a Congressional Grand Jury to testify about her alleged use of performance enhancing drugs.
Royal Caribbean Announces Educational “How the Other Half Live” Vacations
LABADEE, Haiti — There’s an old Haitian proverb: “Behind the mountains, there are mountains.” Behind those mountains are smaller mountains. Behind those smaller mountains is an enclosure. And behind that enclosure is a tropical paradise rented out to Royal Caribbean…
College Freshman and Brewing Company Discover Social Anxiety Disorder Cure
LOS ANGELES, CA — Martin Freneticksburg, a college freshman, found himself diagnosed with social anxiety disorder last September after he pledged to a fraternity only to crumble under the ridicule and embarrassment of the customary hazing. Martin is not alone….
Wichita Lineman Arrested for Warrantless Wiretapping
WICHITA, Kansas — Soon after the September 11 attacks in 2001, U.S. President George W. Bush issued an executive order authorizing the National Security Agency (NSA) to conduct surveillance of certain telephone calls without obtaining a warrant from the Foreign…
Former Singer/Drug Addict Bobby Brown Wins X-Games 14 Snowboarding Medal
ASPEN, Colorado — R&B sensation Bobby Brown left a successful stint with New Edition in 1987 to pursue a solo career, which garnered him a string of Top 10 Billboard hits and a Grammy Award. But Brown’s increasingly bizarre behavior…
David Lynch Confirmed to Direct John Edwards Biopic
More trouble for John Edwards surfaced this week when a close family friend told various gossip publications that the disgraced former Democratic presidential candidate struck his cancer-stricken wife during a shocking marriage-ending brawl.