Search Results for: mitt romney
Mitt Romney Admits He’s a ‘Douche-bag’
Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney dropped out of the Presidential race yesterday stating that he was not qualified for the job. “I’m a douche-bag”, Romney. “I don’t know what’s going on with the American people. You don’t want a loser…
Mitt Romney Cannot, Will Not Win (Yet Again) And Here’s Why
Time Magazine has a great article about Mitt Romney, and how his third (and final?) attempt at running for office will be no better than before. On the early morning of Election 2012 I ran an article entitled “Obama WILL…
Megyn Kelly is Still a Massive Twat, But Mitt Romney Has a Huge Wang (Censored Version)
Megyn Kelly, anchor of some white guy’s network, is still being pursued by liberals and stuff, claiming that her blatant and sour opinions that put people to shame were morally wrong and shouldn’t be on a comedy network such as…
Open Letter to Mitt Romney – Here’s Why You Lost
I’ve read so much in the wake of the 2012 presidential election about why Governor Mitt Romney lost, and the majority of it sickens me with how tone-deaf it is. And seriously, governor Romney, I hope you read this. I’m…
Mitt Romney Places Personal Ad in Wall Street Journal for ‘Friend’
Former GOP Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney took out a classified ad today in the Wall Street Journal seeking a new friend to “pal around with.” “I have everything money can buy,” Romney said in an interview, “but I have never…
Microsoft Paperclip Endorses Mitt Romney
GlossyNews.com – The Microsoft Paperclip has declared that he is a Republican and has come to the aid of Mitt Romney with an 11th hour endorsement of the pro-corporate candidate. The Paperclip is largely known for his letter writing interventions,…
Barack Obama Asks for Your Vote… For Mitt Romney
By President Barack Obama My fellow Americans, Next Tuesday, November 6, is Election Day, and this year your vote is more important than ever before. That’s because in this election you have a choice between two very different visions for…
Ageing Jimmy Carter Accidentally Endorses Mitt Romney for President
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a televised address before the press corps Saturday, ageing former Democratic president Jimmy Carter accidentally endorsed Mitt Romney for the presidency, insisting: “Romney is a progressive thinker and he’s gonna do a whole bunch of good…
Mitt Romney Vows To Create Armageddon
GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney announced today that, if elected, he promises to fulfill the Bible’s promise of Armageddon and allow all faithful Mormon practitioners to achieve Rapture. “The time for Armageddon is nigh!” Romney stated to some of his…
Mitt Romney Promises Unemployment to 11 Million Americans
Here’s the gist of it. Romney claims there are 23 million unemployed and swears that he will create only 12 million new jobs. That is fact. He literally promises that 11 million people will remain jobless under his administration. If…