Year: 2012
A Date w/ Petraeus: You’re either “All In or All Out”
Paula Broadwell and Rielle Hunter will be starting an exclusive club calling it “Groucars”. The name is a portmanteau of Groupie and Cougar. Membership is restricted to women in their 40’s with a hankering for older guys holding high governmental…
Chiropractor’s License Yanked Over ‘Intravaginal Massage’ Allegations
Jasper, GA – (SatireWorld.com) – A Georgia chiropractor is accused of sexually violating three female patients by using a controversial medical procedure he calls ‘Intravaginal massage.’ The Georgia State Medical Board says there is no recognized procedure anywhere on their…
Nation Subjects Obama to Another 4 Years
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a tight election contest, President Obama was officially subjected to another 4 years in office by a sadistic American electorate Tuesday. Mr. Obama, who has endured relentless and regularly unfounded attacks from the Republican Party in…
Local Woman Orders at Deli, Is Reminded of Election
Worchester, MA – Esther Urville, manager at Norbert’s Garden Shop, too frazzled to brown bag her lunch this morning, ran to the local deli on her lunch hour. While placing her order, she was reminded, to her chagrin, of the…
I Rfreed, Hereby Publicly Give My Condescension, er, Concession Speech
In lieu of my humiliating defeat yesterday as I vied with two lesser alleged human beings for the coveted role of Dictator Of America, I must now bow to present social convention and offer to the public my Concession Speech,…
God Gives His Endorsement- Sort Of…
We interrupt this website to bring you an important news development. God has appeared in the clouds above New York, the news media center of the United States, if not the whole world. The Majestic One appeared upset and annoyed,…
Homeless Man Rakes In Thousands Of Dollars On Election Day By Panhandling
Newark, NJ – Glossy News Elroy Smites was down on his luck ever since the Vulcan rubber factory closed in late 2006. Homeless, destitute, and seemingly without a future, Elroy took to panhandling on the mean Newark streets as his…
Ex-Romania Dictator Nicolae Ceausescu & Wife’s Bodies Exhumed, Fed Dinner, Re-buried
Bucharest,Romania – (SatireWorld.Com) Ruthless communist era dictator Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife were hastily exhumed today in order to give them their annual dinner of roasted potatoes and salt. Every year since their summary execution on Christmas Day 1989, the…
Obama “best is yet to come” confirmed by projections for 3012
Social scientists working with computer models have confirmed U.S. President Barack Obama’s election night statement that, “…for the United States of America, the best is yet to come.” RIGHT: U.S. President Barack Obama predicts, “the best is yet to come,”…
Newsflash: America Votes to End Democracy, Become Dictatorship
GlossyNews.com – Nov. 7, 2012- An astonishing, unexpected, unbelievable and catastrophic end has come to the long Presidential election in the United States today. An overwhelming number of Americans in the write in section of the ballot expressed that they…