Month: May 2010
Gov Sanford to Leave GOP; No Longer a ‘Conservative’
Columbia, SC (GlossyNews) — Conservatives, led by newly divorced adulterer, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford (exR), whose marriage ended earlier this year after lying about his whereabouts and cheating on his wife, have lost their patience with the news media…
2012 – The Year The Women Took Over
Glossy News Future Take: Year 2024 — Most political analysts look upon the 2012 Obama-Palin campaign as the start of the anarchy that now besets us. Originally known as the second Obama-McCain campaign, Palin soon eclipsed her boss in popularity…
Crossing Guard with OCD Run Down by Impatient Businessman
Nolanville, VA-Every weekday morning at 3 a.m., 45-year old George Ross puts on his pants for the third time, combs every strand of hair separately and plucks any wayward nose hairs. He measures one teaspoon of sugar into his carefully…
Crude Awakening: Giant Oil Slick Blames Pat Robertson for Disaster
Lexington, VA (GlossyNews) — In a strange twist, the giant oil slick invading the Gulf Coast has blamed the capitalist pimp and preacher, known as Pat Robertson, for creating it. “I don’t know what everyone is so upset about.“ said…
The Baby Dictionary .com Shows What Kids Really Say
Satire is a notable medium, and it’s thus called because it’s neither rare nor well done, and well, we see a lot of new entries into the game each week, but few so clever as TheBabyDictionary.com. They do things a…
Deepak Chopra Finally Admits: We’re Screwed
State of Denial – Mind-Body Medicine guru Deepak Chopra, author of such books as “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” and “The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire,” has done a complete about face and is now giving lectures based on his…
Obama Fails to Appoint Deist to Supreme Court
Washington DC (GlossyNews) — President Obama, refusing to yield to the demands of Tea Party agitators, has once again failed to appoint a Deist to the Supreme Court. Obama has announced that he will nominate Elena Kagan to the court,…
Texas Governor: Oil Well Accident Act of God – Gays Still an Abomination
Austin, TX (GlossyNews) — Texas Governor Rick Perry, in a tawdry attempt to poison the jury pool when the lawsuits start flying over the BP oil spill, has announced the oil well blowout in the Gulf of Mexico is “an…
Southern Tornado Kills Ten; Nobody Surprised
Deep South, USA (GlossyNews) — Governor Bailey Harbor today viewed the scene of last weekend’s worst storm devastation. “Yep, looks the same as every other tornado hit. I’ll get President Jug Ears on the phone; see if I can get…
When Free Cheese Isn’t Socialism
By the fireplace — I have a friend who is an unusual case in point for our present national attitudes. Let us call him ‘Sam’. If I used his real name, and he found out, he would be hurt and…