Posted in Biz News

Pot Growers Hire PR Firm to Develop Marijuana Marketing Plan

Los Angeles, CA – “The times, they are a changin’, again,” remarked Henry “Pops” Champion to a group of medical marijuana clinic owners and pot growers who all agree that it is time to finally pull out all the stops…

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Posted in Human Interest Talky Pictures

Kevin Smith Made to Purchase Two Seats at Sushi Bar

LOS ANGELES – The next time Kevin Smith visits If It Smells Like Fish, his favorite sushi bar in L.A., he will have to purchase two seats. According to a source close to Mr. Smith—or as close to him as…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Entertainment

David Cassidy More Popular than Sarah Palin?

Chicago, IL (GlossyNews) — The Republican National Committee (RNC), in a move that now appears to have backfired, recently conducted a number of related polls designed to demonstrate the popularity of Sarah Palin. The RNC refuses to release the data…

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc

Book Excerpt – Chicken Butt; The Story of a Man (2 of 4)

(Book Excerpt) Chicken Butt – being a chicken and all – was scared of many things; commitment, asserting himself, spiders, rodents, insects with more than two legs, household pets, domestic animals, public transportation, public restrooms, flea markets, grocery stores, supermarkets, almost all types of salads, computer games, video games…

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Posted in Health

Free Penis Enlargement Tips for Glossy News Readers

A number of web forums have been requesting articles about penis enlargement, all man are asking themselves; can your penis shrink for real? As a public service to the readers of this website, for whom we believe there is a…

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Posted in Politics

Sarah Palin Is a Woman for All Seasons

Sarah Palin has been called many things: touchstone, villain, heroine, MILF, you name it. What cannot be denied, however, is the fact that Palin is a towering public figure—the sort of lightning rod that people are willing to dance with…

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Posted in Human Interest

PETA Wants Tilikum the Killer Whale Tried As a Dolphin

NORFOLK, Vir. – PETA has served notice to SeaWorld attorneys that it plans to file an amicus Delphinidae brief in a Florida district court on behalf of Tilikum, the so-called “killer whale,” who is suspected of drowning one of his…

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Posted in Politics

Sarah Palin Responds to Tard Complaints – FAIL

Sarah Palin is not one to be drawn in to media complaints, but she’s exactly one to respond to these issues when they accost her directly. Sure, Family Guy made fun of persons of mental disability in past years, but,…

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Posted in Politics

Bush/Cheney 2012 – The Next Generation

Dick Cheney is said to be planning a not-so-surprise comeback for the 2012 presidential election, and he’s doing it this time vicariously through his daughter, Liz Cheney. Due to his dissatisfaction with the way the conservative party has so far…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip

Taylor Swift Opening a Chain of Anal Bleaching Salons

NASHVILLE – Country artist Taylor Swift, 20, announced to her fan site T-SWIFT.COM yesterday that she plans to open a chain of anal bleaching salons this summer. Ms. Swift, who turns her frequent two-month romances into popular songs, will cut…

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Posted in Crime

Wounded Rapist Demands Tougher Gun Control Laws

Philadelphia, PA (GlossyNews): An unnamed accused serial rapist demanded tougher gun control laws from his hospital bed in suburban Philadelphia earlier today, just hours after being admitted by police for a gun shot wound incurred while attempting to assault a…

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Posted in News In Your Briefs

Impeached Illinois Governor to Speak at Northwestern on Ethics

Former Illinois Governor, Milorad “Rod” Blagojevich, impeached for trying to sell President Barack Obama’s vacant Senate seat in 2008, and convicted on several federal conspiracy charges including “pay to play” schemes, has been asked to speak by a group of…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Health

Sen. Bob Dole Hospitalized: Dozens of Blue Pills Found Bedside

KANSAS CITY, MO (GlossyNews) — Former Sen. Bob Dole was hospitalized briefly this week, but is recovering comfortably at the Walter Reed Army Medical Center. Dole is an attorney and retired United States Senator from Kansas. Today, Dole is more…

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Posted in Sports Events

Winter Olympics Surprisingly Teach Americans Geography

The Winter Olympics in Vancouver have obviously taught us all some important lessons about bobsled safety and 40 million dollar opening ceremonies. However, some Americans are learning more than they ever expected from the Olympic coverage. Americans, globally renowned for…

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Posted in Television

Undercover Boss a Perfectly Fine Show, But it Could Be Great

This season CBS premiered their newest real-life reality show (as opposed to a scripted, obviously fake one,) and it’s so far shaped up to be pretty darn good. It’s called Undercover Boss and it purports to show the experience of…

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Posted in Society

A New Recipe to Try Out at Home – Compost Soup

A Portland Oregon group shared a recipe for compost soup on National Public Radio. Although thoroughly organic, it was however not your normal culinary delight,. You could call it ‘getting back to the earth’ in a big way, although dying…

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Posted in Politics

Do Tea Partiers Still Pretend to Miss Georgey Bush?

A sign board has appeared along a Minnesota road asking passerby’s if they miss the days of George W. Bush’s presidential rule. Apparently times are so bad for some that they will go to that length in nostalgia. Some seem…

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Posted in Biz News

Any Publicity is Good Publicity, Says Toyota

Brian and company, kindly include all my excerpts since you don’t do captioning and thats one of my strong points.

Thanks to the recall some jackass who didn’t know about us would like test drive us-just for the rush of a sticking brake and gas pedal, coupled clutch at 90mph

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Posted in Biz News Religionism

Atheists Getting Ready to Cash in on The Rapture

In a post-rapture world, it is believed that atheists and agnostics may be faced with horrendous living conditions on Earth. However, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. With pre- and post-rapture business opportunities already beginning to…

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Posted in Music

Alan Jackson’s Problem w/ World Geography Spurs Reform in Georgia Schools

NEWNAN, GA — In a report issued by the Institute of Southern Studies, teachers in the South have become the largest casualties of the recession. According to researchers, the study “finds that many schools, especially in the South, are slashing…

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