Limbaugh Rushed to Hospital Drugs Not Mentioned

Honolulu, HI (GlossyNews) — Acerbic Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh was rushed to a Honolulu hospital this morning for what doctors say is an overload of ‘bile’.

Limbaugh’s press spokesman Carson Cobain said he had little information. “Rush usually takes off this time of year to beef up for the coming season. All I know is he’s in the hospital and it doesn’t look good. Luckily Rush can afford the best treatment in the world. He’d be screwed if he worked for Wal Mart.” Read more Limbaugh Rushed to Hospital Drugs Not Mentioned

Share

Bekins Moving Into The Future

Chicago, IL – The Bekins folks are bound to make moving a snap for their customers this time, for sure. Compression is the new name of the moving game for this century-old company. Soon, the familiar semi-trailers will be parked for good. Computer giant Maxis, the developers of Sim City – the game for people who like to control everything – has teamed up with Bekins to revolutionize the moving industry. And wow. What a great idea! Read more Bekins Moving Into The Future

Share

2009 So Not-Father of the Year Award Nominations Announced

The year 2009 saw a plethora of bad daddy behavior around the country and we, at Glossy News, thought we’d take the low road and list some of our favorites. Although we are using a numbering system to count the dads down, in our book, they all deserve to receive the #1 worst father of the year award.

10. On April 2, 2009 at approximately 3 a.m., Robert Daniel Webb had a hankering for a hot cup of coffee, got his little 9-year-old daughter, Meadow, out of bed, and drove the two of them down to the local AM/PM Mini Mart Read more 2009 So Not-Father of the Year Award Nominations Announced

Share

Obama Vows to Investigate Alarming Rise in GPS Malfunctions

President Barack Obama announced yesterday that he would ask the Department of Homeland Security to investigate an alarming rise in GPS malfunctions. Although he stopped short of suggesting a link between terrorists and the rash of travelers who wound up as many as five hundred miles off course after following aggressive GPS instructions, the president said that such incidents could undermine America’s economic recovery. Read more Obama Vows to Investigate Alarming Rise in GPS Malfunctions

Share

Recession So Bad, Money Is Worthless

The long lasting recession has caused in many a belief that money no longer has any value.

“What good is it to waste my whole day getting ready for work, going to work, working, going home from work, then spending the rest of my night recovering from work? I might just as well live in a refrigerator box and have my time free.” stated Eli Zacomin, laborer.

Many seem to agree with this idea. Read more Recession So Bad, Money Is Worthless

Share